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Why A Girl Gets Gone

I have always found sociopaths and psychopaths to be utterly riveting. In particular, women, as they are few and far between in these cases. They are also more relatable to me, to a certain extent. The idea of an individual who is not limited by a moral compass but can give the appearance of having one is profoundly fascinating. Amy Dunne from Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl is a favourite; a woman is scorned by her dull husband so she fakes her own murder and pegs him for the killer, taunting him along the way. Flynn explores the meticulous underbelly of the stone cold mind of Amy and how she is able to get away with framing her husband. Albeit this is a fictional story, but is it possible to fake your own death without being a psychopath? Would you have to frame someone? Are there laws against it? Can a college student in her early 20s living in Ottawa pull it off?

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Surprisingly, there are actually no laws in Canada or the United States against psuedocide (the act of faking your own death). It’s the how and why that will get you fined and/or potentially doing jail time, according to Toronto Defense Lawyers.com. People like Ken Kesey, author of One Flew Over the Coo Coo’s Nest, fake suicide to get out of doing time or, in the case of Patrick McDermott, known for having dated Olivia Newton-John, to skip out on child-support debt. Both of these men were easily caught. Kesey came back to the states after hiding in Mexico for several months while McDermott simply kept Googling himself and raised suspicions of investigators.

If you truly want out of your life, you need to cut all ties with family and friends; resolve is a must to stay gone, girl. That is why the best reason to commit psuedocide is only to escape. Should you be running away from debt or arrest, or attempting to collect on life insurance, someone is likely looking for you, especially if there is no body. That is what makes psuedocide far more difficult to pull off. Being an individual without debt, no outstanding arrest warrants, and no bills to pay makes me an excellent candidate thus far. But I have yet to determine the how and where. Although I have romanticized the idea of getting back at a cheating husband, I don’t have one to get back at, nor am I that determined. My goal is to plan my own death in such a way that I won’t be held liable, criminally or otherwise, while ultimately being able to completely disappear.


Phoebe Strike

Phoebe Strike is a 21-year-old snarky college student with a strong love of comics, good beer, dry humour, and old movies. She’s an aspiring fiction and content writer who enjoys writing humour pieces as well as slice of life. Her plan is to hone her skills in whatever writing industry she can get her hands on.

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