Beth

Falling in love is still falling… and 

I’m afraid of heights 

A Series of Poems by 

Bethany Walker

Introduction

Have you ever stood at the top of a really tall building? I mean REALLY tall. The kind where all the cars and people look like the toys you played with as a kid. It's marvelous to see the world from such a view. Makes you feel invincible. There is, however, the feeling of great discomfort. Anxious energy just boiling inside you. 

The fear of falling. 

Imagine for a second, that you are standing on top of this building and you drop something very valuable. Time seems to move in slow motion as you watch your beloved possession grow smaller and smaller. It fades into the distance to the point where you can hardly see it. Then, it hits the ground. Shatters into a million pieces...

Feels pretty empty huh?

This series of poems is meant to simulate that feeling of watching something slip from your grasp. The emptiness and loneliness of breaking something you love…

There’s still something left though. You are still standing on top of the building, gazing at the beautiful view. Although these poems are mournful there is an underlying hope of the new things to come. 

Staring contest

Unblinking. 

Unmoving. 

Our gazes fixated on each other. 

Do you think you can keep this up?

I know I’ll be the victor.

You gawk at your own image in my reflection. 

The staring continues.

I like this game. 

I always win.

You don’t seem to enjoy it as much as I do. 

You finally advert your eyes to grab an object beside you,

A small tube of mascara. 

You apply it swiftly. 

With a few hard blinks and some fiddling with your hair,

You dashed out the door,

Grabbing your coat off the lamp and shutting the lights. 

I sit,

Alone in the dark,

Looking forward to our next staring contest. 

26 things I definitely don’t miss about you. 

Aboard the airplane, you rubbed my arm slightly, so I wouldn’t be afraid.

Bringing me snacks to see my bright smile.

Caring enough to notice when I was cast down. 

Daring to dance with me when I felt displeased. 

Eying me and saying I looked extravagant.

Forgetting my follicles.

Giving me gifts.

Holding my hand. 

I could never ignore you when you implored. 

Joking around and facing my judging stare. 

Kidnapping our friend's kitten because we both loved it. 

Loving the way I looked in your light sweaters.

Moving millimeters closer to me when we were cuddling.

Nobody knew when we ran away in the middle of the night.

Opening the truck door for me to enter first.

Pecks on the cheek.

Quietly patting my head when I fell asleep.

Running into a hug when we reunited.

Soothing words when I felt riled up.

Trying not to fall over when standing in the back of your truck at night.

Under a thousand stars we laid down in the grass.

Vowed we would never leave each other,

We made wishes under shooting stars, we e-

Xpected each other to keep that promise

You never stopped loving me, but still…….there are

Zero things I miss about you. 

Faded Feelings

Remember when you first said you loved me?

Those words sweetly whispered in my ear.

Goosebumps scattered across my skin.

Shivers were shot down my spine...

I suddenly felt sick.

Couldn’t say it back. 

It wasn’t true.

All’s gone now.

We are...

Over.

Bonus Poem

The Underground

The apparition of these faces in the crowd:

Petals on a wet, black bough.

The scurrying of a hundred feet on the slick brick floor was as the stampede of cattle, towards a single door.

Their movements slowed in the abundance of bodies rushing in a single direction.

Distant sounds of a strumming guitar and voices echoed through the tiled paths. 

The air reeked of desperation and waste.

White tiles polluted with smeared dirt and spray paint. 

The chatter blends into each other in harmony as hundreds of voices speak in the hollow space.

None can be recognized, as they shouldn't be. 

A fierce wind speed through the hall.

One could feel a hot and sticky breeze on their face, running through their hair. 

Some dashed for their hats, others signed in relief. 

Everyone pushes their way aboard, disregarding rules or courtesy. 

The metal snake zoomed into the distance,

leaving an unsettling silence on the tracks and a black tunnel.