Managing Mandrakes
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Picture this: You’re walking one evening and spot a thick tuft of green leaves. With its purple and green stems, you might even consider it beautiful. But before you even think of touching it, remember that deep in the soil, a grimy, wrinkly newborn mandrake is stretching its vocal cords, ready to go in for the kill.
Now, obviously, we’re not talking about the real plants, we’ll get to that later. These plants make many appearances throughout the fantasy genre, and although their appearances stay somewhat similar, their purpose usually differs. In this venture into the mystical mandrakes, however, we’ll be focusing on the creatures that can be found throughout the Harry Potter series, as these are what I know best. We’ll walk through the purposes of farming mandrakes, give a brief account of the real-life plant, and even learn how to grow and harvest our very own.
They may not seem like much, but these plants can do some serious damage. If not harvested properly, the mandrakes in their infancy can knock a person out for several hours with just their scream. Mandrakes at age of maturity, however, can actually scream loud enough to kill you. This is why it’s so important to understand these plants before considering growing your own.
Now, you may be wondering, with the amount of trouble it can be to farm these plants, why do it? The answer is simple. The mandrake has the ability to revert the effects of curses or transfiguration and is therefore a vital ingredient in many restorative potions.
Much like the mandrakes featured in the Harry Potter series, real mandrakes have also been used for healing purposes. They act as pain relievers, as well as treatment for abscesses, ulcers, skin conditions, or inflammation. That being said, mandrakes are poisonous, and if not used properly, can cause hallucinations, vomiting, diarrhea and even death. So... Probably best not to eat them. While they don’t scream, the mandrake was once believed to have a siren-like scream that could drive someone mad, but for obvious reasons, that’s a myth.
Even though I don’t recommend growing real mandrakes, the screaming one's sound fun, right? For those of you who might need some help breaking a curse, or who just want the adrenaline of fighting off a screaming plant baby, here are some instructions to growing your own mandrake:
Directions:
1. Acquire mandrake seeds from your local shop and follow potting directions from seed packets.
2. Once potted, water regularly.
3. When the leaves begin to reach 12 inches high, it’s time for them to be repotted. Prepare a large pot. This will be where the mandrake will grow to full size, so make sure to choose accordingly.
4. Dress in protective gear.
-Soundproof earmuffs are MANDATORY. Failure to follow this step WILL result in injury or death.
-Gloves are recommended, as the mandrakes may bite.
5. Firmly grasp the stem of the plant, just underneath the leaves. In a swift but firm motion, pull the plant from the pot.
6. Place the mandrake in the larger pot and cover it in fresh soil.
7. Water regularly and observe for any behavior changes. As the mandrake matures, they become moody and secretive. They may develop acne and throw parties.
8. The mandrakes have reached adulthood and are ready to be harvested when they begin moving into each other’s pots. Adorn yourself in protective gear and remove the mandrakes from their pots.
9. Using a knife, separate the stems from the roots.
10. Chop and use as your recipe requires.
Madison Costeira
Maddy is a professional writing student at Algonquin College and an aspiring writer. She’s a certified procrastinator, overthinker, and owner of a depressing amount of cats (remember: two’s a party, three’s a crowd).
