Gone for the Holidays

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This morning, I found the city blanketed in snow. Like many fellow Canadians, I found myself dreaming of two things: a white Christmas, and a place that doesn’t plummet to - 20°C. I will be out of the country for the holidays, but today I’m focusing on a different kind of “gone”: Hannah Hart gone.

The star of My Drunk Kitchen has gained notoriety across the web for her drunken cooking antics, and hilarious personality. She’s genuinely funny, and she brightens up my day with what she attempts to do in her five-minute webisodes.  


Since chocolate and mint are holiday classics, today’s focus will be on those seriously addictive Girl Scout Cookies known as “Thin Mints.” So, welcome to a drunken review of My Drunk Kitchen.

Cocoa Loco Thin Mints!

Thin Mints of Mintiness.

Difficulty Level: 4.7
You’ll need to use both an oven and a saucepan! Whoa!

Find yourself a recipe. I used this one, since I had all of the ingredients. And I used this flour recipe.


Here’s what I did differently:

  • I’m not entirely sure if I cooked the cookies for 7 minutes. Probably closer to 5, which would explain their mushiness. I let them air out, and they got harder. It was pretty magical.
  • I didn’t have vanilla extract or peppermint extract. I used spearmint essential oil instead. I’m not sure if that’s even edible, but we’ll find out later…
  • I also didn’t have enough chocolate, so I made some from scratch. It’s so much fun! You throw cocoa butter into a pan with cocoa powder and some peppermint tea… it was so cool! And glossy. I might have burned it while watching.
  • I also had a helper!

 

Here are some lessons:


Chocolate Melting 101

Keep your saucepan on low heat, and only melt most of the chocolate into it. Put the rest of the pieces in after, and stir them until melted. Technique!

I may have eaten it all.

Cookie Cutting 101

Use a shot glass, if you have one. They’re the perfect size.

Dough rolled out between two sheets of parchment.

Cookie cutter!

Cookie Dipping 3.14159

Use a fork when picking up the cooled cookies, and when dipping them into the chocolate. It makes it a lot easier to work with.

Whoa - cookie dipping!

My Thin Mints turned out better than Hannah’s, but I don’t think that I was as intoxicated as she was.

I also didn’t buy my Thin Mints from a child. Sorry!

Happy Holidays!

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SANJA VALENTINA CIMESA

Val is an aspiring editor and loves all things creative. She splits her time between kitchen shenanigans,  painting surrealist pieces, and being an active member of the alternative model community. She travels often with her bicycle, Charlotte.

She has been featured in Snap Oshawa, Carleton University’s Self Defense Ad campaign and Farm Boy’s Recipe section.

Connect with me: Facebook. Twitter. Model Mayhem.

Blogs I follow: Chocolate Covered Katie. Oh She Glows. Cooking Comically. 

Sweet Gingerbread Spice Makes You Think Twice

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It’s early November, and the seasonal line-ups are changing. Bridgehead and Starbucks are bringing out their rustic, flavourful spices: chai, pumpkin, gingerbread.

`Tis the season of self-indulgence, after all.

I long for the aromatic beauts that are so perfectly placed in the pastry display cases. Chai shortbread. Pumpkin loaf. Ginger cookies. I wait patiently all year for their grand arrival, and then promptly devour them. I can’t control myself. They’re in a league of their own.

If the opportunity presents itself, you can’t just say no.

And if you can, you’re lying.

But I’ve yet to find a good ol’ fashioned ginger-molasses cookie.

The ones I do find are crunchy, far too sweet, and lack the potent heat that I associate with ginger. I’m not looking for a sugar cookie featuring powdered ginger.

I long for the sweet heat that dances across my tongue, lingering after the first bite. It lets me know that everything is OK – that November and December will be happy.

And I had to make things right.

I mean, it isn’t really winter without a good spiced cookie, right?

Some of my holiday spices!

Val’s Ninja Bread Cookie Recipe

Difficulty Level:  1.1

Can you stir things with your hands?

Warning:  Do not inhale cloves. You will regret it. And I’m not joking.

 

Step One: Flour Powder!

Get a bowl. A fairly decent sized bowl. You want to have room in this thing. This recipe is hands-on. Really.

In they go:

  • 2 cups flour, regular or gluten free
  • ½ cup sugar
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • ¼ tsp salt

Stir this stuff really well.

 

Step Two: It’s Getting Hot in Here. So Take Off All Your Cloves.

Fresh, whole spices really work best in this recipe. If you can, grind them yourself.

Add this stuff, too:

  • 2 ½ tbsp ground ginger
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • ½ tsp cloves

Stir. Stir. Stir.

 

Step Three: Liquefy!

Part the dry goods, making a circle or well in the middle. Pour the following into it:

  • ½ cup vegetable oil
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • ¼ cup molasses
  • ¼ cup milk

Get your hands in there and mix until you have a nice cookie dough consistency.

 

Step Four: Shake n’ Bake

Preheat your oven to 350F. Grab a cookie sheet and put some parchment paper on it.

Roll your dough between your palms and make thick, flattened ovals.

Bake for 10 – 15 minutes.

Enjoy!

Cookies!

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SANJA VALENTINA CIMESA

Val is an aspiring editor and loves all things creative. She splits her time between kitchen shenanigans,  painting surrealist pieces, and being an active member of the alternative model community. She travels often with her bicycle, Charlotte.

She has been featured in Snap Oshawa, Carleton University’s Self Defense Ad campaign and Farm Boy’s Recipe section.

Connect with me: Facebook. Twitter. Model Mayhem.

Blogs I follow: Chocolate Covered Katie. Oh She Glows. Cooking Comically. 

Brain Food for your Noggin'

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Last weekend, my friend was babbling about how she was counting down to Christmas. She talked about presents, feasts, family, and eggnog.

I remember watching my younger brother chug Neilson cartons daily. My parents had to buy us each our own cartons and label them, hoping that we wouldn't steal the others anyway. This sweet holiday nectar was the highlight of every family get-together, and every party. 

Then I found out that I was lactose intolerant. 

No amount of lactose pills in the world could help me consume as much eggnog as I liked, and my stomach was a rumbling mess until the month of December was over, and the cartons disappeared off of the shelves.

I did find alternatives that used soy or almond milk. My experiences with them fueled my quest to create my own. 

 

The Adventures of Vegan Nog!

So Nice Noel Nog

Price: $4.59 per 946mL at Loblaws

So Nice has both soy and almond milk. 

These products lack rustic spices. The almond milk tasted far too sweet, and the soy was tolerable. It wasn't as sweet, and had a subtle flavour.

Overall: Disappointed. 

 

 

Silk Seasonal Nog

Price: $4.49 per 946mL in USA

Finding this one was an adventure. Canada doesn’t receive a lot of Silk’s product line, and I had to visit the US Food Basics for this one. It was okay on its own, and really good in coffee. Apparently pouring drinks while still half-asleep leads to a beautiful thing.

Overall: Decent

 

 

Vitasoy Holly Nog

Price: $2.49 per 946mL

No creaminess, no real flavour, and no real desire to drink this ever again. It has a lot of sugar, but isn’t sweet. Nothing could save it.

Overall: Upsetting.

The eggnog lurks within.

Val’s Vegan Nog

Yields: 1.25L

Difficulty level: Must have blender certification.

Seriously, though.

Ingredients:

  • ½ cup maple syrup
  • 2 cups non-dairy milk (sub ¼ cup with full fat coconut milk for a smoothie texture)
  • 2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
  • 2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 small avocado, pitted and frozen
  • 1 large banana, peeled and frozen
  • ¼ tsp cloves
  • 2 tsp nutmeg
  • 1 tsp cinnamon 

Blend the first four ingredients. Add everything else, and blend it all together.

Best served cold.

The total cost came out to $2.69, $4.49 with coconut milk, by amount used.

Be careful. Someone might be plotting to steal your nog.

Innocent civilian about to experience theft of nog. 

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SANJA VALENTINA CIMESA

Val is an aspiring editor and loves all things creative. She splits her time between kitchen shenanigans,  painting surrealist pieces, and being an active member of the alternative model community. She travels often with her bicycle, Charlotte.

She has been featured in Snap Oshawa, Carleton University’s Self Defense Ad campaign and Farm Boy’s Recipe section.

Connect with me: Facebook. Twitter. Model Mayhem.

Blogs I follow: Chocolate Covered Katie. Oh She Glows. Cooking Comically. 

Smashing Pumpkins

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Behind the counter, a league of baking beauties were working away. Their creations embodied their passions: baking and design. A woman emerged from the back – Karen – and shook my hand. I felt the icing leave her hand and attach itself to mine. 

The transformation was complete: I had stepped into Wendy’s bedroom, and Tinkerbelle was nearby, Peter Pan giving her a thimble. The French renaissance furniture, the soft, lulling music, and the scent of sugar masked reality. 

Thimblecakes  is Bank Street’s allergen-free bakery, catering to celiacs, diabetics, vegans, and the regular. And business has been good.  

“People come in and they just need time to figure out what they want,” says Karen. “The average person is excited and overwhelmed with how much we have to offer.”

Thimblecakes Storefront.

The owner, Wendy, is a huge environmentalist. Everything is recyclable, and if possible, all food is sourced locally and organically. She wants her beliefs coming through.

Behind the Counter.

‘Tis the season for all things pumpkin, and Thimblecakes has their fair share of squash love. Today we will attempt to recreate the Gluten-free Pumpkin Scone.

Difficulty Level: 6

Mild Prep work. Can you mix things? Yes? Good!

Step One: Pumpkin Carving

Get yourself a baby pumpkin. They’re also called “pie pumpkins”.

Cut it open, throw its entrails into a bowl if you want to roast the seeds later. They're full of healthy fats and protein!

Halve it, glaze it with olive oil, and place it on a baking tray. Into the oven for about 40 minutes at 350F, or until it’s soft when poked by a fork.

Take it out, turn off the oven, and let it cool for about a half hour. Using a spoon, scoop the squash out of its skin and measure out 1 cup. That’s all you need. You can use the rest for soup or pie.

Step Two: Mixer

Combine:

  • ½ cup brown sugar
  • 4 tbsp butter
  • 3 tbsp coconut cream (or more butter)

Mash it together really well.

Add:

  • ½ cup milk
  • 1 ¾ cup gluten free flour blend
  • Dash salt
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • Dash: Cinnamon, nutmeg and allspice
  • 1 cup pumpkin, cooked

Mix it all together. Lightly flour a surface and shape it into a circle. Cut it into 6 – 8 triangle pieces. Place it onto the baking tray and bake for 15 – 20 minutes at 350F. Enjoy!

Scones!

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Sanja Valentina Cimesa

 Val is an aspiring editor and loves all things creative. She splits her time between kitchen shenanigans,  painting surrealist pieces, and being an active member of the alternative model community. She travels often with her bicycle, Charlotte.

She has been featured in Snap Oshawa, Carleton University’s Self Defense Ad campaign and Farm Boy’s Recipe section.

Connect with me: Facebook. Twitter. Model Mayhem.

Blogs I follow: Chocolate Covered Katie. Oh She Glows. Cooking Comically. 

A Town Called Nanaimo.

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Hello, and welcome to my nook of the internet. This blog will contain my undocumented love for all things sweet, interviews with Ottawa’s local businesses, and my take on their desserts. 

Fun facts:

  • I love desserts. 
  • I frequent local bakeries and dessert shops in hopes of finding something new. 
  • These sugary pieces of heaven are often devoured in less than five minutes. 
  • I’d like to think that they find a way to escape my grasp.

Why do all desserts leave me? 

Today's focus: Mandi Loo. She is the owner of Ottawa’s first commercial vegan bakery, Auntie Loo’s Treats. She created these pieces of perfection.

Auntie Loo's Nanaimo Bars.

They probably have their own cult following. 

I tried to recreate this little gem at home. The base was the most challenging part. I needed to find something that complemented everything else. Two amazing moments occurred in my kitchen: I found out how to make chocolate bars, and I also rediscovered my long lost icing recipe. 

 

To be noted: cookie dough is a wonderful base for this.

I have not attempted to create a non-vegan recipe, so I cannot vouch for the results. You should be able to substitute the non-vegan equivalent(s). Use your own discretion with taste and texture.

Let us begin.

 

Difficulty level: 4.

You melt stuff. Attempt to not eat all of the icing. Also, knowledge of freezing things is required.

 

 Bottom Layer:

Grease an 8x8 glass baking dish. Grab a large mixing bowl.

Add:

  • ¼ cup cocoa powder
  • ½ cup oats
  • ⅓ cup ground almonds
  • ¼ tsp baking soda
  • ¼ cup sugar
  • ¼ cup coconut oil
  • 2 tbsp water
  • Dash of vanilla extract
  • Dash of salt

Mix thoroughly. Spread it evenly into the baking dish.

 

Middle Layer:

Grab another bowl and a sturdy fork or hand mixer.

Toss in:

  • ½ cup vegan butter
  • 2 tbsp coconut milk
  • 1 tbsp vanilla extract
  • 2 cups icing/confectioner’s sugar

Mash things until they’re smooth and whipped. Taste it. Does it taste awesome? Yes? Good.

Spread it across the cookie layer. Cover it and throw it into the freezer for half an hour.

 

Top Layer:

Grab a small saucepan. Throw the following into it, and melt:

  • 6 blocks Baker’s chocolate, 100% cocoa
  • 1 tbsp coconut butter
  • 4 tbsp cocoa butter (optional)

Pour it over the other layers, and return it to the freezer for 45 minutes.

After several bent forks, I managed to find a knife to cut out this little square. 

 Sink in, and enjoy!

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Sanja Valentina Cimesa

Val is an aspiring editor and loves all things creative. She splits her time between kitchen shenanigans,  painting surrealist pieces, and being an active member of the alternative model community. She travels often with her bicycle, Charlotte.

She has been featured in Snap Oshawa, Carleton University’s Self Defense Ad campaign and Farm Boy’s Recipe section.

Connect with me: Facebook. Twitter. Model Mayhem.

 

Blogs I follow: Chocolate Covered Katie. Oh She Glows. Cooking Comically.