A Rather Unnecessary Justification for the Creation of the Chimera
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For years, people have been asking me why I would ever create the chimera to look the way it does. They often ask me if I was high, which is silly considering that I, Gaia, am the very definition of low. I often answer with something along the lines of “I am an eternal being with power and knowledge beyond the capabilities of your entire human race combined. Besides, I don’t come to wherever you live and tell you how to roll around in cow shit or whatever it is humans do.” Anyways, I want to prevent any more of these ridiculous sorts of questions, which, quite frankly, are beginning to verge on insults. I have decided to bless you with an explanation of the creation of chimeras. The body is a lion because lions are super cool and dangerous and I’m Gaia so I can do whatever I want. Then I put a snake head on the tail because lions already existed and I didn’t want people to think that I had run out of ideas. The goat head came about because my idiot husband-son thought that the chimera “looked too scary”. I mean, you locked your children in a cave until one of them castrated you, but sure, go off about how I’m the one making poor choices. So I attached the goat head because people love goats but then to spite everyone, I made the goat breathe fire. It made for a really cool visual effect, and let’s face it, there isn’t a single problem that fire can’t solve. Some days I do look back on the creation and think maybe I did it because I wanted to see if I could get away with it, but then I remembered that I am the literal earth that all existence relies upon which means that, again, I do what I want. So now you have your answer, that’s how the Chimera was created. Though I will tell you that you are all a bunch of idiots for questioning anything that the gods and titans do. We’re bigger than you, stronger than you, and incredibly inbred so we’re not bound to make much sense at the best of times.
Molly Desson
Molly Desson is a Professional Writing student at Algonquin College. When she’s not busy with coursework, she’s either talking to or about her dog. Some of her non-dog interests include mythology, crafts, and being outside.
