Learning Sex from an Asexual

First of all, I want to say that I AM NOT AN EXPERT NOR DO I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT SEXUALITY.

Around the age of 14, I began to wonder why I never really took an interest in boys like my friends. When in elementary school I was like everyone else. I drooled over boys as well, but I knew I was never going to ask them out. So what's the harm with finding people physically attractive?

Moving on to high school, I was not the prettiest nor did I have any social skills. Around grade 11ish, most of my friends already had their first kisses and were in at least a week-long relationship.

I had not but I did kinda like a boy. He was an average joe and we started to hang out. As soon as I started to realize that he might like me, I shut down.

Why? Why would I shut down? Was it because I have dangerously low self-esteem? Trust issues?

I was scared.

I was scared that I would have to be a couple, hold his hand, and kiss him. KISS HIM.

The thought of kissing him was strange. Sickening almost. I didn’t really like him, but here I was pretending to be ‘romantic’ and ‘couple-y’ when it felt wrong. 

I resonate with being an asexual, but that does not mean I’m not attracted to people — not to mention that asexual is an umbrella term. I’m still learning about the differences, but what I understand is that I fall under the Demi-romantic category. I need to have a strong connection/emotional bond with someone before I am comfortable being “romantic” with them. The guy I ‘dated’ was not the one; I see now that I only ‘dated’ him because I wanted to be like my friends. 

Common Questions: ANSWERED BY K.C WITH AID OF GOOGLE

Q1. How do you know if you are an asexual?

A: There are 3 main types:

1. A person who never has felt the need or desire to have sex.

2. A person that is involved in romantic relationships without sex.

3. A person that is in a romantic relationship that does have a sexual desire ONCE a deep emotional bond is developed. 

Q2. Can asexuals fall in love?

A: Yes, asexuals can fall in love. Love does not always mean sex. Being asexual for some only means that they are not driven by sex to maintain a healthy long-lasting relationship.

Q3. Do asexuals feel pleasure/have sex?

A: Yes and no. Some asexuals do not have the drive, nor do they find satisfaction in the act. On the flip side, some do feel pleasure in it. Being asexual just means you are NOT DRIVEN or in need of sexual satisfaction to maintain a happy lifestyle.

Q4. How do you know if you are asexual if you are still a virgin? 

A: Sometimes the easiest way is to just do it. Asexuals, for the most part, don’t think about sex much. As I stated before, it is not a large part of their lives. Don’t ever feel pressured into having sex or having to make a choice of what your sexuality is. Just live your life. If you want to try having sex, go for it. If you don't, that's okay too. Either way, please be safe and don’t be afraid to voice your feelings and thoughts.

Why understanding sexuality and finding out and accepting your own is cool!

Understanding sexuality is important because it can allow you to be more open and understanding. Sexuality is complicated and confusing and that’s okay. You DON’T have to have it figured out by the age of 18; you have your whole life to figure out who you are. That’s the real reason for living, learning, experiencing and self-discovery. SO take your time, be yourself, smile and be safe.

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K.C.

KC’s a very small carrot, who is a Professional Writing student at Algonquin College. KC is a bright student, whose passions have led her to want to work in the film industry as a horror and thriller scriptwriter. She loves watching horror movies, writing, painting, and baking in her spare time. 

How to Overcome Vulnerability

Vulnerable (adj) - Being susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.

There are about 5 different types of vulnerability.

• Physical Vulnerability

• Economic Vulnerability

• Social Vulnerability

• Attitudal Vulnerability

• Emotional Vulnerability

I’m not going to be able to get into all of them in-depth, but what I do want to get into is Emotional Vulnerability. As it is something I myself struggle with.

About Emotional Vulnerability

Plenty of people experience it and they don’t know how to overcome it or how to escape being emotionally vulnerable. For someone that had to overcome this on their own, I gotta tell you - it isn’t easy at all.

I’m still working to surpass this. Every day I get closer to getting over being emotionally vulnerable but when I say it isn’t easy, it isn’t easy.

You think you’re over it. You think that you can move on and live the life you always wanted to live! When something comes along and slaps you across the face, putting you back at the beginning, having to go over everything once more.

I don’t have much advice or rather, I don’t want to give you some advice and it not working for you because it seemed to work for me. How everyone overcomes this type of stuff is different for every person in the whole world. I’m one person on a screen talking about emotional vulnerability, I can’t help you entirely but I can help you get started.

Also! Just know that being vulnerable isn’t bad - but being too vulnerable can lead to big problems.

Overcoming the Inevitable 

In the beginning, it’s difficult. You’re unsure of where to start. Everything seems big and scary, and issues will be coming at you from every direction. You feel as if you’ll never escape this never-ending circle.

First, don’t feel overwhelmed or pressured to get over this vulnerability quickly. This takes a lot of time and you shouldn’t feel as if you should get over it right away. Take it slow and at your own steady pace. 

If you are able to overthrow it quickly? Congrats! If you aren’t? Then that’s okay! You aren’t obligated to overthrow it quickly.

Second, take a deep breath and don’t react immediately if someone or something hurts or attacks you. Think it over, is it worth to react? Is it worth showing that it hurt you? It may be worth it, but sometimes it’s just easier to leave it alone than let them continue mocking you. Easier for them to get a reaction out of you if they know that it hurts you.

Third, vent to someone if you have to! Keeping all these emotions in will seriously repress them and you’ll never be able to be vulnerable when you absolutely need to be. Venting will help you, even if you don’t think so!

Fourth repeat if necessary. Nothing is absolute, you may be back at the beginning over and over and you’ll feel as if it hasn’t worked but you shouldn’t give up. Take it slow, don’t rush and don’t give up when you end up back at the beginning. You’re a gem! Just remember that.  

Overcoming vulnerability is nice, great even but sometimes it’s okay to be vulnerable. It helps with growth and could really help you along the way.

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Kaden

Kaden’s a small second year professional writing student. They’re a hard working, loud student who wishes to be someone aspiring as the years go on. They love to read and write more than anything - online stories and more. If you’re looking for a good story, they’re the one to hit up! They can sing, they can knit - they can’t do everything, but they’re sure to try.

Procrastination: Wait For It.

I’m not standing still, I am lying in wait - Aaron Burr, Hamilton: An American Musical

I’m sure many of you have reasons to procrastinate: fear of not reaching perfection, laziness, having too many tasks required of you, anxiety. Maybe you work better under the pressure of an approaching deadline? I’m sure there are many other reasons for you to procrastinate. Here is some of my advice to help you help yourself.

Make a shit-list

When you feel that everything starts piling on, make a list. Write down what you have to do, when it’s due and what kind of priority it should take. Then break it down further into mini tasks. Then treat the list like it’s your enemies and you have to eliminate them. 

Breaking it all down will make it more manageable. Completing each task can help you feel more accomplished which can inspire you to do more and more tasks.

Ignorance is bliss

Sometimes you need to take things off your own plate. Once you're full, you're full. Sometimes you need to leave scraps on your plate, say thank you for the meal, and call it a day.

If one of your tasks includes something that can be considered unimportant, ignore it. Many people procrastinate because they feel they have too much to do, so they just do nothing. Removing some of the stuff you feel you need to do can lead to a higher rate of productivity, which can then lead you to complete the tasks that you ignored in the first place.

Treat yo’ self

Setting yourself rewards can help. Complete a task, have a cookie. Complete a task, have a ten-minute cuddle session with your furbaby. 

Looking forward to completing the task can help you actually complete the task. Make sure that the reward fits the task that you are completing. If your task is to empty the garbage beside your desk, don’t reward yourself with a night off, playing video games. Yes, I’m aware I’m calling most of you out. 

Take a break

Don’t overwork yourself. Nothing will get done if you run yourself into the ground trying to get everything done. Know your limit, work within it.

Set yourself time-based limits to get your tasks done, then take a break. Don’t confuse this with giving yourself rewards. Work for an appropriate amount of time, evaluate what you have completed, then go do something that has nothing to do with what you were doing. It can be just as detrimental if you leave your set tasks, but keep them in your mind the entire time. Thinking about it can have the same effects as doing it. Out of sight, out of mind, and let yourself recover.

Just do it

Don’t hate me for this one, I know it’s easier said than done. At the same time, you need to get your shit done, so do it. Give yourself some tough love, kick yourself in the ass, and get it done. 

Half the battle is just getting started. Generally, once you get started, you’ll just keep going. A snowball of productivity.

Remember that this advice is just from my own experiences. Some of it may work for you, and some of it may not. 

In the end, the most important thing is to get yourself being productive. 

It’s not always that easy, and I know that.

Don’t be an Aaron Burr, be an Alexander Hamilton.

Hamilton doesn't hesitate. He exhibits no restraint. He takes and he takes and he takes and he keeps winning anyway. - Aaron Burr, Hamilton: An American Musical

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Kurt Thuot

Kurt is a second-year student at Algonquin College. At 24, he aspires to be many things, but most notably, not broke. He likes long walks on the beach at sunset and pina-coladas in the rain. He also likes cliches, puns, and bad jokes. In reality, he hopes to be an editor, or do anything working with books.

Stop Beating Yourself Up!

For my final article, I would like to leave you all with some essential advice.

Be kind to yourself.

Stop beating yourself up and learn to love yourself truly. 

You are going to be YOU for the rest of your life, so you should start learning to love yourself truly.

So much of our pain and damage is self-inflicted. We tell ourselves that we're stupid, ugly, lazy, a loser, a wannabe, a whore. We tell ourselves a myriad of horrible lies, and we hold ourselves back from doing or being what we aspire to be.

I want you to try to break that cycle.

I know how hard it is, believe me. I fed myself these same lies for a long time. I hated myself so much I chose to spend years of my life sitting in the dark, drinking alone. I still struggle with negative thinking and I am known to take to the bed for days when it gets really bad.

But I am trying to break that cycle, and here’s how:

1.     I remember to breathe deep. - This is some of the best advice I could give you. The technique is known as box-breathing. You simply breathe in for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds and then keep all of your breath out of your body for four seconds. When you start to feel anxious, when you begin to doubt yourself or when your mind starts racing and you start putting yourself down, take a minute. Try this breathing technique and I guarantee it will help calm you down.

2.     I stretch. - Stretching sends blood flowing throughout your body, bringing nourishment to your muscles and taking away the waste. It is proven to relieve stress and, as a bonus, improves flexibility and posture.

3.     I move! - Your body is a beautiful, wonderful gift and it was built to move. Sitting around all day watching TV. playing video games or studying has a significant impact on your mental well-being. Going for a brisk walk, a swim or to the gym will boost your energy and mood.

4.     I make lists. - Making a gratitude list and a to-do list can have such a positive impact on your life:

• Gratitude List – Taking some time to write down all of the things you’re grateful for will help you focus your mind on positivity. It can remind you how great you've got it. We tend to allow ourselves to become overwhelmed with negativity; a gratitude list is a great way to help you accentuate the positive.

• To-do List – Making to-do lists has had a profound impact on my life. I am one of the least organized people in the world. When I am juggling several projects, I get very stressed out, and I worry that I forget something, then I usually DO forget something… making a to-do list relieves the stress caused by my disorganization. Furthermore, there is no better feeling than sitting down at the end of the day and deleting all of your accomplished goals off your list! It’s fantastic!

Some other life tips:

• Make your bed,

• Drink lots of water,

• Eat plants,

• Keep a journal,

• Volunteer,

• Be kind to people in the service industry,

• Give big bear hugs, and

• Tell the people you love that you love them

You are wonderful and you are doing your best. Stop being such a dick to yourself!

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Colin Murphy

Colin is a 32-year-old Professional Writing student currently in his second year at Algonquin College. Colin was born and raised in Newfoundland, but he has traveled around the world. Colin taught English in Guangzhou, China, backpacked across Europe, partied in Las Vegas, skied the Rockies and swam the beaches of Cuba and Mexico. He has worked and lived in six Canadian provinces and driven a transport truck across the ice roads under the northern lights of the Northwest Territories. He loves to laugh and sing, and write about himself in the third person!

Levelling Up your Couponing Game!

Sarah: Wow, look at this dress! It’s so pretty.

Violet: Yeah, it’s super pretty. How much is it?

Sarah: Who cares? I want it!

Violet: Oh my God, it says the dress is $250!

Have you ever been in this situation? Have you ever picked up a plain t-shirt and seen that it was $60? Crazy, right? 

We tend to justify high prices with the brand name or quality of the product, but I am here to tell you today that you don’t have to sacrifice quality for a better price. Just find a coupon.

I know what you are thinking: my grandma uses coupons! I want to support my favourite retailers/brands. 

Do you know that most stores overcharge to not only make back what the item is worth, but also to pay their employees? And when I say employees, I mean the floor grunts. The distributors, manufacturers and designers all get a set wage no matter what. But do you know that often, the extra charge for shipping or the extra $50 they charge for their brand name is given to those corporate CEO’s who make millions a year and often cheat on their taxes?

Don’t worry about using a coupon; keep your money in your pocket! 

Where the hell can you find coupons? 

Well, with the internet and social media being so popular, coupons are very easy to find. You no longer have to scan through hundreds of fliers and magazines, though it is still an option. 

Today we can find coupons everywhere. Almost every store has a reward system – not necessarily a coupon, but still a source of saving money. Places like Tim Hortons, McDonald’s, Purdy’s Chocolatier… and now, even at Algonquin College for you lucky students, there’s a stamp system where loyalty can earn you a free purchase. Who doesn’t like chocolate or coffee?

Many clothing stores have point cards including Indigo, American Eagle, and Ardene. After collecting a certain amount of points, you can use them towards more in-store purchases. There are certain stores where their point card system is a yearly subscription, but unless you are buying from that store every month it’s not worth it. Examples of these types of programs include Suzy Shier and EBGames.

When online shopping, you can find coupons anywhere. Browser extensions like Honey are a great and easy way to find coupons. Honey is an online extension, funded by ads, find you coupons when you arrive at check out on certain websites. And no, Honey did not sponsor this blog.

Lastly, stores like Walmart, Value Village and Michael’s have a discount program attached to every receipt. Filling out a short survey can earn you at least 20 per cent off and sometimes up to 75 per cent off! 

Finding coupons is not always this easy for all products. For example, phones and computers don’t tend to see huge discounts on a regular basis. The best thing to do is wait for these items to go on sale, buy during the back to school season (even if you are not going back to school!) or during Black Friday. 

Don’t forget, websites like Amazon and Ebates have great deals. Ebates even has a money-back rewards system when buying your favourite items online through their service. 

Let's end the stigma and start saving money!

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KC

KC’s a very small carrot, who is a Professional Writing student at Algonquin College. KC is a bright student whose passions have led her to want to work in the film industry as a horror and thriller scriptwriter. She loves watching horror movies, writing, painting and baking in her spare time.

Keeping Childhood Interests in your Adulthood!!

As we grow older, we are told the things we love in our childhood should be put aside for things that aren’t… childish. We are told we shouldn’t be doing such things because we are adults and adults don’t do this type of shit anymore. We shouldn’t be watching kids shows or playing with toys that are associated with kids… time to prove these people WRONG!

Just because you’re an adult now it doesn’t mean you should throw the toys/games you enjoy and love away. Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you can’t continue to do the things you did as a child. Being interested in the toys/games you were interested in as a child isn’t a bad thing nor is it something to be ashamed of. Embrace it, hold it tight and never let go.

There are many ways you can keep up with your interests, even if you don’t have the time you used to have as a child. It doesn’t have to be big either, just something small that keeps your interest!

If it’s a kid’s TV show that you enjoyed or still enjoy, watch an episode before going to bed, especially when you can’t sleep. It’ll keep you on track with your show and you might be able to sleep right after! Plus, this isn’t an everyday thing!! You could do it whenever you want, wherever you want.

And if you don’t have the time, the best way I could think of is to make a schedule. Between your work, free time and school time, if you’re still in school, make it so you have an hour or two a week doing your interest. It doesn’t have to be too long but just long enough that you could enjoy your show!

Another way to keep your interests is to start a collection! Like a figurine collection or even a rock collection!! It doesn’t have to be a large collection, just something small that you could collect every couple of days. This means you can keep an eye on your childhood interest without really getting into it every day and every second!! In addition, you could look into your interest on the internet every couple of days to see how it’s faring. Just because you can’t interact with it, doesn’t mean you can’t keep updates on it.

If you want to go bigger - go bigger! Like dressing up or cosplaying? Try and start making videos or even your own costumes! Maybe even go to a convention or two. Start a card collection, from Pokemon, DnD (Dungeons and Dragons) or even Magic the Gathering! You don’t have to keep it small if that doesn’t suit you. Whatever you do to keep up with your interest is yours; I’m just here to give you ideas on how to do just that! 

Your interests are yours to keep, yours to hold and tell people about! You shouldn’t be ashamed of loving kids’ things or things that are conveyed as childish. So many people out there have things they still have from their childhood and still keep up with. Therefore, don’t be discouraged when someone tells you to stop being interested in things that are for kids.

This doesn’t involve them, it only involves you and your interests. Just because you did these interests when you were a child, doesn’t mean it’s only for children. Interests are interests and as long as you aren’t hurting anyone, child or adult, then your perfectly fine to do your interests!

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Kaden

Kaden’s a small second year professional writing student. They’re a hard working, loud student who wishes to be someone aspiring as the years go on. They love to read and write more than anything - online stories and more. If you’re looking for a good story, they’re the one to hit up! They can sing, they can knit - they can’t do everything, but they’re sure to try.

Getting By on the Budget Life

Something that people from the Baby Boomer generation love to say is: “Work hard and save money!”

Ok, Boomer.

If you are reading this, you probably know the struggle of living paycheck to paycheck. What it’s like when one slip-up can leave you on the wrong side of poverty. Working hard is what you do and you know that it’s not as simple as “saving money.”

I’m hoping I can give you a little bit of advice that helped me stretch that paycheck just a little further.

Kaching on that Kijiji

Kijiji and, more recently, the Facebook Marketplace has saved my life.

If you don't know, Kijiji is a popular buy and sell website where people can post free advertisements for second-hand items. You can find a range of items, from furniture to electronics, pets to dinner plates and can be filtered to your location.

Facebook Marketplace is the same, but run by Facebook and built right into their interface. 

There are more sites like this but these two are the ones I’m more familiar with. 

You can find many little gems at heavily discounted rates. This can help you get a little more out of your paycheck. If there’s something that you need, you can save money by getting it used. You can even add to your paycheck by selling any items you don’t need!

Check out Kijiji here.

Holla for that Dolla(rama)

Honestly, Dollarama (and other dollar stores) have such a bad rep for being cheap, but isn’t that the point?

You can get a lot of small household items or even perishables much cheaper then you can elsewhere. To me, that’s not a bad thing. Some kitchen essentials can be found in their food aisles for a dollar or less. 

Not to mention the variety of other items you can get there, like toiletries or cleaning products, can make it a one-stop shop for several of your necessities.

Don’t knock it because it’s less than a dollar, revel in it!

Say no to pride…

…and say yes to other things like a family member offering you canned food they no longer use, or your weird Aunt Muriel (that’s not actually your aunt) offering you hand-me-down clothes. 

Don’t be too proud to accept charity. Your bank will thank you.

The day you run out of Mr. Noodles and only have a can of beans that your parents gave you, you will thank them (and me).

Even if the hand-me-downs from your “Aunt Muriel” were outdated 20 years before you were born, you can find uses for the clothes. Maybe you can cut some of the shirts into rags or keep a wacky dress for a Halloween costume.

Sell yourself

I mean sell your time and skills. 

You have an extra Friday night off and don’t mind taking care of the devil spawn of some of your family or friends? Offer to babysit.

Know how to make some weird craft, that takes very little time or money? Sell it on Etsy.

There are plenty of little things that you can do to help bring in some extra money. A site that I find quite useful for this is Fiverr.

If you have some sort of marketable skill, sell it. Fiverr allows you to sell your skills and you make $5. If you can type fast, you can offer to dictate. Know a different language, offer to translate. There’s plenty you can do if you can do it fast. 

Check out Fiverr here.

Take breaks

The most important advice I can give you is: don’t work yourself into the ground. Work hard, but please take breaks. 

If your mental health breaks down because you spend too much time stressing about money, it can bring everything crashing down with it. 

You’re the foundation to your life and if you break, everything can—and will—crush you.

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Kurt is a second-year student at Algonquin College. At 24, he aspires to be many things, but most notably, not broke. He likes long walks on the beach at sunset and pina-coladas in the rain. He also likes cliches, puns, and bad jokes. In reality, he hopes to be an editor, or do anything working with books.

F.I.R.E

Financial Independence, Retire Early (F.I.R.E.)

Escape the rat-race. Get off the hamster wheel. Free yourself from the never-ending drudgery of consumer culture. Set the whole system on F.I.R.E!

F.I.R.E is spreading!

This cultural movement is sweeping across the world, challenging the status quo, rejecting our consumer culture and allowing people to quit their jobs and live their lives free from the shackles of the 9-5 Monday to Friday workweek. 

Sound too good to be true?

IT’S NOT!

Millions of people around the world have already reached financial independence, and countless more are well on their way.

But what IS financial independence?

GREAT QUESTION!

Simply put, being financially independent means that you no longer depend on a paycheque to survive. You no longer have to trade your precious time in exchange for a salary.

How do I reach financial independence?

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

The great J L Collins, a financial blogger, teaches us that achieving financial independence is as easy as 1, 2, 3.

1.     Avoid/Pay off Debt

2.     Spend less than what you earn

3.     Invest your savings

THAT’S IT!

Let me break it down for you.

Avoid/Pay off debt – Your first step along the path to a life of freedom is to get debt out of your life and keep it out. Getting rid of your debt will allow you to save more, and saving is the name of the game!

Spend less than what you earn – Reduce your spending and increase your savings. Track your spending for a month. How much of your income goes to living expenses? (Rent, Bills, Food) How much of your salary are you wasting unnecessarily? (Eating out, Drinking, Shopping) How much of your hard-earned money are you keeping for yourself? (Saving, Investing)

If you are like most people, then you are saving very little or not at all. More than 50% of Canadians don't have $1000 in savings. That means more than half of us are one curve-ball away from total disaster.

It’s a scary thought because life is always throwing us curve balls. You could lose your job, get sick, get into a car accident or get pregnant. If life happens and you’re living paycheque to paycheque, what are you going to do?

So, prepare yourself! Set aside a certain percentage of every paycheque and save yourself from being forced to move back in with your parents in your 30’s (…😐)

Invest the difference – Once you’ve got yourself a little emergency fund (roughly three months living expenses) then it’s time to start investing in low-cost index funds such as Canada Index ETF, Canada All Caps Index ETF, Canada High Dividend Yield Index ETF or the S&P 500 Index.

Due to the beauty of compound interest, the sooner you start investing your money, the sooner your money will start working for you! Check out this compound interest calculator to see how it works.

Look, I know it sounds stressful and complicated. You might be thinking, “I’m young! I have all the time in the world. I don’t need to worry about this right now.”

I get it! I had the same mentality when I was young. But I really wish I had done things differently. My sincerest hope is that you guys will learn from my mistakes. I want you all to live amazing lives filled with mishaps, mysteries and adventures… and adventures cost money, believe me!

So, do yourselves a favour and learn about the F.I.R.E movement. Some blogs and podcasts teach you everything, from budgeting to how to fly around the world for $1,000! Immerse yourself in a community that will support you in living your best life.

What have you got to lose?

I suggest getting started by checking out Mr. Money Mustache and the Mad Fientest.

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Colin Murphy

Colin is a 32-year-old Professional Writing student currently in his second year at Algonquin College. Colin was born and raised in Newfoundland, but he has traveled around the world. Colin taught English in Guangzhou, China, backpacked across Europe, partied in Las Vegas, skied the Rockies and swam the beaches of Cuba and Mexico. He has worked and lived in six Canadian provinces and driven a transport truck across the ice roads under the northern lights of the Northwest Territories. He loves to laugh and sing, and write about himself in the third person!

How to Evolve your Wardrobe like a Pokemon!

Why like a Pokemon?

Well, there are many ways we can evolve. Physically, mentally, spiritually, and much more. Pokemon evolve to be stronger, to get better moves, and update their appearance. But right now, I’m going to focus on the physical aspect of evolution. 

Evolution occurs every century, decade, even day. Clothing seems to change every second; trends go in and out of style, seasonally and in phases. I’m not saying you have to buy new clothes every day to keep up with the trends, not at all. 

I’m here to say FUCK trends, save money! Evolve the way you want to.

Who’s that Pokemon? INSPIRATION!

Finding inspiration is easier said than done. But it is an integral part of discovering who you are. Once you’ve got it, shopping for clothing as well as dressing for the occasion is a breeze.

Start by looking at celebrities, family and friends fashion. What do you like, what do you not like? What fictional characters do you gravitate towards?

Fire type = warm, fall with the energy of summer, showy, courageous colors (red/orange/yellow/gold/bronze)

Water/Ice type = calm, clean, smart, winter, brave colors (blue/green/brown/silver/pearl)

Grass/Bug type = chill, neutral, country home colors (green/tan/beige/brown/buttercup yellow)

Rock/Fight type = punk, daring, fun (red/black/grey/gold)

Steel type = risk taker, brave, make a statement colors (monochromatic = grey/black/white)

Electric type = outgoing, vintage or early 2000’s (neon/glow in the dark)

Psychic/Fly type = hippie, pure, honest, mixture of warm and cool (rich purple/mustard yellow/cyan/bronze/pearl)

Dark/Ghost type = dark, muted, somber colors (black/grey/dark blue/burgundy)

Dragon type = LEGENDARY (RAINBOW/gold/silver/bronze)

Understanding Use Of COLOR.

Not to be an art nerd, but use of (or lack of) colour and texture are essential. Texture is fun and comes in so many options such as velvet, corduroy, leather, cotton, nylon, PCP, latex, etc. Colour can also do a lot for you. It symbolizes mood or emotions, what you present to the world. 

For example: grey ripped jeans, black knit sweater, black knee-high boots, and a white leather (faux snakeskin) coat. It’s a monochromatic scheme. Every piece of this outfit says something about the person.

1. Fall or winter (sweater and coat)

2. Ripped jeans: either in trend, or a symbol of a rebellious personality

3. Knee height boots, always a statement 

4. Faux snakeskin coat. Now, that is the focal point. Not only does it create texture, but it stands out. White is very contrasting and holds the human eye. Snakeskin is daring, and not everyone likes it.

5. In total, this outfit says chill, fun, and brave. [steel type]

Being a second-hand queen is STILL A QUEEN!

I know there is a sigma about thrifting, but if you wash the clothing first before wearing then everything will be FINE. There is no shame buying items secondhand; this gives clothing a second chance to shine. Also, you can find DESIGNER items for CHEAP, like Tom Ford and Levi’s. You just need to search hard, usually traveling towards the city for better finds.

Don’t like thrifting? Buying from the sale rack is fine too. When it comes to fashion, try to purchase items that will last and can be worn for different occasions.

Lastly, I’d like to say FUCK BODY ‘TYPE’ DRESSING! Wear what you want to wear! Don’t be swayed by societal standards; do what you want!!! 

So evolve! Get out there and try something new and out of your comfort zone! You don’t have to buy, just try it on. See what you like and love yourself!

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KC

KC’s a very small carrot, who is a Professional Writing student at Algonquin College. KC is a bright student, whose passions have led her to want to work in the film industry as a horror and thriller scriptwriter. She loves watching horror movies, writing, painting, and baking in her spear time.

Hobbies as an Emotional Outlet

For some people, emotions are a lot. It’s hard to deal with and they don’t know what to do with these emotions so they’ll take it out on those around them. It can start fights and lead to things being said that you can’t take back. Choosing a hobby, on the other hand, can help with the overwhelming emotion by putting your attention into the hobby instead of those around you.

CHOOSE A HOBBY BOBBY!

There are plenty of hobbies that you could get into. Some hobbies are even difficult to get into and can overwhelm you even more. Small, easy hobbies should be what you look into… something that you can do in your house, on your own and in any amount of time.

Arts and crafts are a good example of a hobby that is quick, easy and has the option to take up a bit of your time. You may have to go out and get some supplies to make things with and some of it may be expensive, but there are a lot of places where you can get cheap art supplies like the Dollar Store (not sponsored).

Another easy hobby that you could take up is baking! You can even share your creations with friends and family. There are plenty of quick and simple recipes online that you can find. Depending on the quest, baking can take 30 - a few hours. And not to mention very tasty when you do it right!

A hobby that I do is knitting. It isn’t an easy task to do, with the difficulty of stitching and making a harmonious design, but it’s still something that I do on my own time. Knitting could be fun if you put the time and effort into it. 

ORGANIZING YOUR EMOTIONS.

Now, while you’re able to pick out a hobby and get yourself into said hobby, sometimes it is difficult to start the hobby when your emotions are overwhelming. You could be staring at a piece of paper but nothing comes to mind for hours on end and you just end up getting frustrated with it all.

The best way to deal with it is to not do your hobby while you’re overwhelmed with your emotions. Things could turn sideways and you’ll never start on your hobby if you only ever try to do it while your emotions are taking over your whole entire mind. Start off your hobby while you’re calm in the mind and can think clearly.

Build a habit of doing your hobby while you’re calm and happy. Therefore, when your stressed or overwhelmed, you’ll feel happy while doing said hobby. If you attach your hobby to being stressed, in return that hobby will be a conduit of stress.

And no means am I telling you to use this as a coping mechanism. If things are really getting bad and you’re unsure of how to deal with it, there’s no shame about going to see a professional about it. They’ll know more about how to deal with it than someone on a blog post writing about overwhelming emotions and using hobbies as an emotional outlet.

You don’t always have to have a hobby to aid your emotions, you can always have a hobby just for fun. Something you can tell your friends “Hey! I’m gonna go watch some Shane Dawson and Jeffree Star for a bit and knit myself into a black hole,” or something like it. Have fun, go crazy and be safe.

Here are some resources for those residing in Canada:

Kids Help Phone

1-800-668-6868

Crisis Services Canada

1-833-456-4566 or text 45645

Centre for Suicide Prevention

1-833-456-4566

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Kaden’s a small second-year professional writing student. They’re a hard-working, loud student who wishes to be someone aspiring as the years go on. They love to read and write more than anything - online stories and more. If you’re looking for a good story, they’re the one to hit up! They can sing, they can knit - they can’t do everything, but they’re sure to try.

Mental Health – Mental Illness

I can remember back one night when I was 20, staring at a bottle of pills, my mind a blur of thoughts and feelings that no one should have to experience. My mental health and my mental illnesses were beating me into submission and I needed a reprieve. 

I had to call a friend that night to come and pick me up. 

I remember telling him “I’m scaring myself, I’m scared for myself.”

I’m lucky to have that friend. 

Mental health and mental illnesses are not one and the same but do go hand in hand. Mental health is the state of your mind due to other factors, such as stress, sleep, environment, needs, etc… Mental illnesses are more often than not a chemical imbalance in your brain that affects your mood, thinking and behavior. The most common examples are anxiety and depression. 

One in 10 adults reported having anxiety or a mood disorder. 

I was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression when I was 20. 

Actor Chris Evans talks quite often about his own anxiety and how it almost made him quit Marvel. If Captain America can survive and manage having a mental illness, I have every faith that you can too! 

I have learned to manage mine by taking care of my mental health. My mental health and mental illnesses can work each other into a frenzy, and if I don’t keep one calm, there’s no getting the other under control. 

Let’s Get Down To Business!

In other words, start taking care of yourself! Reduce your stress as much as you can. 

Sleep in that extra 10 minutes, take a bath, clean your living space, treat yourself to a meal that you love to cook. 

The little things like throwing out the garbage around your room, putting all your dirty clothes (that I know are on your floor) into a neat pile, can do wonders for your mental health. 

It might take a kick in the ass to get you into gear to do those small things. Trust me, I get it, it might not seem so small when you are trying to convince yourself to do it. But once you do them, they can make you feel rejuvenated, and possibly lead to you having the motivation to tackle some of the bigger stuff. 

Let’s do “Get Help”

Honestly, the best and most amazing thing that you can do for yourself when it gets to be too much IS TO GET HELP. 

I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! 

Whether it’s calling a friend, talking to a counselor or a healthcare professional, anything can make a difference. 

When getting out of bed is a chore every day, when you start to feel like you can’t leave the house, when you begin procrastinating just replying to a text, when life piles on you until you’re buried too deep to claw your way out. It’s not too late to reach out and get help. 

I find there’s a stigma that you're only allowed/supposed to ask for help when you are suicidal or self-harming, or fully “crazy”. That is wrong. 

You know your mind; the moment you start thinking that it’s getting to be a little too much, REACH OUT. You don’t need to wait until you have a monster in your head — you can ask for help when it’s only a bunch of dust bunnies that are starting to look like they have sharp teeth. 

One of the most liberating days for me is when my two demons were named. Remember that there is no timeline for getting help.

Here are some resources for those residing in Canada:

Kids Help Phone

1-800-668-6868

Crisis Services Canada

1-833-456-4566 or text 45645

First Nations and Inuit Hope for Wellness Help Line

1‑855‑242-3310

Centre for Suicide Prevention

1-833-456-4566

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Kurt Thuot

Kurt is a second-year student at Algonquin College. At 24, he aspires to be many things, but most notably, not broke. He likes long walks on the beach at sunset and pina-coladas in the rain. He also likes cliches, puns, and bad jokes. In reality, he hopes to be an editor, or do anything working with books.

The Ups and Downs of Drugs

It has been 718 days since vowed I would never comedown off drugs ever again.

The day was November 11, 2017, and I was alone in a motel room in Moosomin, Sask. I had just been fired for the second time in 10 weeks. I didn’t have enough money to buy my next meal, or pay for another night at the motel or, worst of all, buy myself any more liquor or cocaine. I was 30 years old, alone, sick and lost. I had spent the last 12 years drinking and partying, and I had nothing to show for it.

Coming Up or Getting High:

There is an easy to understand explanation as to why people all over the world and from all walks of life choose to smoke, snort, pop, plug and swallow drugs.

Simply put, it feels good.

MDMA is like being wrapped in a warm blanket of inner peace and positive energy. You are wonderful and beautiful, your life is perfect, everybody loves you and you love everyone else.

Cocaine is excitement, it's an immediate rush of energy and self-assurance. YOU FEEL GREAT!! You are going to do AMAZING things! You can accomplish anything! You are in control! You have got this! NOTHING CAN STOP YOU!

Drugs can be enjoyable and exciting, but what goes up must come down.

Coming down:

Whenever someone asks me why I got sober, I always give the same answer, “I didn’t quit getting high, I quit coming down.”

Coming down really is the hardest thing. The physical sickness is bad enough. You can expect symptoms such as headaches, nausea, fatigue, cold sweats, diarrhea, vomiting and muscle spasms, just to name a few. But those symptoms are nothing compared to the emotional turmoil.

Emotionally, coming down feels like your heart and soul are being ripped and squeezed, and there's no way for you to comfort them.

And the more you use drugs, the more drugs you need to get high, and the longer it takes for your body to heal. Coming down gets harder and harder.

Next, you start to feel like you're only happy when you're drunk or high, so you start hanging out with people who party all the time like you.

You no longer set and accomplish goals because your only goal is to get fucked up and party with your friends.

This is when your problems really start. Your relationship with your family becomes strained because you’re always broke and borrowing money. You lose your job because you’re continually calling in sick. Life begins to pile up around you, so you get high to avoid your problems sending you spiralling further and further down the rabbit hole.

Until one day, you're 30 years old and you're alone, sick and lost. Staring at yourself in a mirror in a motel room in Moosomin, Sask., contemplating breaking the mirror and opening your veins with the shards.

In recovery, we have a saying: “Play the tape forward.” When I start to think about how great it would be to party with my old friends again (and believe me, I think about it,) I play that tape forward in my mind.

The first night would be EPIC, I have no doubt. I would laugh and sing, just like the old days. Eventually, though, the party would end and the drugs would lead me right back to where I was. Alone, sick and lost staring at myself in a mirror, contemplating taking my own life.

So, take it from me: when it comes to hard drugs, the high is most certainly not worth the fall.

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Colin Murphy

Colin is a 32-year-old Professional Writing student currently in his second year at Algonquin College. Colin was born and raised in Newfoundland, but he has traveled around the world. Colin taught English in Guangzhou, China, backpacked across Europe, partied in Las Vegas, skied the Rockies and swam the beaches of Cuba and Mexico. He has worked and lived in six Canadian provinces and driven a transport truck across the ice roads under the northern lights of the Northwest Territories. He loves to laugh and sing, and write about himself in the third person! 

Meals on a Rush

Meal prepping is so underrated. Why are you sleeping on this? It can save you money, time and inches, not to mention it’s smart for your diet and health. Not having to worry about cooking EVERY SINGLE MEAL is a blessing. So I hope by the end, I will have convinced you and given enough information to get you into meal prepping!

How to Shop Properly!

DO NOT GO SHOPPING WHEN YOU ARE HUNGRY! Compulsive craving buying is common and dangerous when trying to save money, especially, when you are a student living off a minimum wage part-time job. At certain stores like the Superstore, a coupon board is located at the entrance. Use as many as you need. Buy spices, tea and small ingredients for baking at a local bulk food store if convenient. Make smart purchases by looking for specials, buying what's in season (fruit in the summer and vegetables in the fall,) and freeze what you can. 

How to Extend the Shelf Life of Your Food

Is your bread always molding before you finish the loaf? Meat going green in the fridge?

Never be afraid to freeze your meat or bread! Use what you need and freeze the rest.

When buying a two-for-one special on meat, cook one and freeze the second. Slices of meat can freeze up to FIVE months while whole chickens or turkeys can be frozen up to a year. Keep the meat in its original packaging or place it in a freezer-safe plastic bag. 

Live a plastic-free household? Then use an airtight metal tin. For vegans/vegetarians, you can freeze tofu for about FIVE months and vegetables and fruits can be frozen for up to TEN months. 

Always tired? Still hungry after you just ate?

Be aware of your macronutrients intake. Macros such as carbs, fatty lipids and proteins are very important in a balanced diet. Protein should make up the majority of your meals. You can get protein in meat, tofu, chickpeas, spinach, black and red beans, etc. The next major portion of your meals should be healthy carbs such as green vegetables, whole grains (quinoa, couscous, rice) and rye or whole wheat bread. Lastly, fatty lipids… now, don’t get confused with the word fatty. Fatty lipids are healthy fats that humans need. FL’s are very important in brain development so here are a few examples of fatty lipid dense foods: avocado, fish, nuts and olive oil. Keeping in mind what should be in each meal can help your digestion system, mood and overall life.

The starting points in meal prepping

I personally like to take the least amount of time to cook, so knowing how long each item will take to cook ahead of time is key. Start boiling the water first for pasta, or start boiling potatoes/rice before you start cutting up other ingredients. Secondly, move on to your greens. Boil, bake, grill all that is green. Greens are your friends. Lastly, move on to your protein and season to your liking! Make life easy. Don’t procrastinate, JUST DO IT.

Storing food properly and with ease!

One of the most efficient ways of storing food is in bento boxes, specifically their food containers with dividers. As I’m a hoe for green alternatives, reusing mason jars are great for single portions of food and fruit on the go.

Now that you’re equipped with the knowledge of meal prepping, happy cooking and bon appetit!

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KC

KC’s a very small carrot, who is a Professional Writing student at Algonquin College. KC is a bright student, whose passions have led her to want to work in the film industry as a horror and thriller scriptwriter. She loves watching horror movies, writing, painting, and baking in her spear time. KC has traveled to Spain, France, Greece, Italy, Caribean, and Cyprus. She wants to travel more when given the opportunity.

Red Flags and Relationships

Relationships aren’t easy - whether it’s a partnership or a friendship. It’s never easy figuring out how to navigate the unknown. You could easily fall into a trap without knowing how you got in it, and you might feel like you have no idea how to get out! 

Never fear, I’m here to help you recognize some relationships red flags so you know when things are starting to go sideways, as well as some words of wisdom to help you through it

The first thing to understand is that things take time.

You could be in a long relationship with someone before things end up turning ugly. At first, they might seem caring, loving and affectionate, but along the way they could turn on you and become cruel. These types of people are the ones to look out for and make sure you can cut them out of your life before it’s too late.

Notice the little things.

Some red flags don’t show themselves as verbal or physical abuse. Some flags are very subtle but still mean a lot. 

Things to watch out for:

• If they start being possessive of you, 

• If they use your caring personality to make you do what they want , 

• If they start crying to manipulate you. 

These little things are small but are still big red flags in a relationship. It can hurt you emotionally, even if you don’t realize the reasons for it.

A lot of the times, these flags are ignored by people, even when their friends or family members are telling them the relationship isn’t good. They often don’t realize it until things go too far. There are even people out there who think these types of relationships are normal and that these things are supposed to be the ins and outs of relationships… when they are not!

Now, I understand relationships leave emotional scars, a large gap of loneliness or even a gallon of self-blame, but know this:

You are not to blame. You were never the one to blame. What happened was not on you and it never will be. They might blame you for the failure of the relationship but if they are willing to try to guilt you into thinking it was your fault, then they are the ones to blame. 

If they start to bother you, even after you cut off all communications with them? Ignore it. Don’t stoop to their level and mock them. Don’t go out of your way to make them feel bad; be the bigger person for you both. Be the adult they can’t be.

And here’s some advice for a healthy, functional relationship:

COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER!!

I can’t stress this enough!!

I’ve told this to so many people, and myself, time and time again. Some people don’t acknowledge this important aspect of relationships. They don’t talk with their partner or friend and expect to understand what the other half of the relationship is thinking or talking about. It isn’t right and can lead to many misunderstandings.

You have to talk with your partner or friend about what’s bothering you. If they don’t understand, or at least try to, then things could take a turn for the worse for both of you. Communicate with them - tell them you don’t like what they’re doing, to you or anyone else. Don’t just say everything is okay and don’t keep your mouth shut. Tell them what’s going on and they might just surprise you.

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Kaden

Kaden’s a small second-year professional writing student. They’re a hard-working, loud student who wishes to be someone aspiring as the years go on. They love to read and write more than anything - online stories and more. If you’re looking for a good story, they’re the one to hit up! They can sing, they can knit - they can’t do anything, but they’re sure to try.

Relationships After Being in the Closet

What do you think of when you hear closet? 

Scary monster? Hoarded mess? Too many clothes even when you only wear the same two shirts and that one pair of pants that make your butt look great? How about coming out? 

How about the detrimental effects on adult relationships?

Being in the closet while in your adolescence can cause issues to creep up on you like the skeletons in there with you. One of those issues is an inability to navigate adult relationships successfully. While there are many other issues that can cause this inability, I think that it’s a lack of experience that can really hurt you.

I’m no psychologist, but I am speaking from experience or lack thereof. 

Growing up I went through the rainbow of sexualities, pun intended. I didn’t realize that waiting as long as I did to come out that I would struggle even more later on. I came out at 15, but that doesn’t mean I was honest with myself. So did I really come out?

While my friends were getting into relationships left and right, I was still at the starting line, wondering if I was going to take route A or route B wondering, am I gay? Am I gay enough? Should I go back to being straight? 

While all my friends were learning how to communicate with a partner in a relationship and how to have sex, I was learning how to be honest with myself.

This led to the fact that I am currently afraid to be in a relationship. There is so much anxiety because at this point I don’t even know what I do and don’t know. 

Do I even know how to kiss? How do you prepare for sex? How do you communicate? How do you navigate having to think about someone else in your life? How do you accept small affections, like holding hands, without reacting like a 10-year-old girl at a One Direction concert?

There are so many things that you just have to learn from experience. 

This sounds very woe is me, but this is my advice: 

Learn to be okay with being alone. 

This sounds harsh, but you can have a fulfilling life without a relationship. Once you accept being independent, it kinda leaves your mind and being in a relationship doesn’t consume your every waking thought. There’s a freedom to let yourself enjoy solitude. You even appreciate yourself more, not just time spent with yourself, but yourself as a whole. It helps you appreciate being with friends, family and partaking in group events. In those moments you’re not alone, so don’t make yourself lonely. 

Be honest with any potential partners.

There’s a certain danger in not communicating. They won’t know that you are going to struggle with certain aspects and that can cause problems down the road. Like the fact that you are accustomed to being alone. Or the fact that you don’t know how to ask or offer affection. Be prepared to explain it to them, if they're worth your love and time, they’ll understand.

Finally, I think the biggest thing is to ACCEPT LOVE.

Don’t let yourself believe you are unlovable. Don’t let someone get away because you spend too much time overthinking poisonous thoughts. It’s easy to find yourself regretting every one you pushed away because you were scared of love. There’s a fine line between a fear and a phobia. Don’t let your anxiety overcome you.

YOU CAN BE LOVED.

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Kurt is a second-year student at Algonquin College. At 24, he aspires to be many things, but most notably, not broke. He likes long walks on the beach at sunset and pina-coladas in the rain. He also like cliches, puns and bad jokes. In reality he hopes to be an editor, or do anything working with books.

I’m Bringing Sex Back

It’s beautiful. It’s scary. It’s wonderful. It’s confusing.

It’s exciting, magical, heartbreaking, earth-shattering and sometimes it’s really messy… especially if you’re doing it right! It’s how we all got here and one of the best things about being here: it’s SEX.

As wonderful and beautiful as sex can be, it also has the potential to be very difficult and even traumatic. In my 32 years of being alive, I have had my fair share of both beautiful and not so beautiful sexual experiences and I want to share some of the knowledge I’ve acquired.

I won’t be focusing on sexual trauma, except to say that if you have experienced any form of sexual assault or abuse the best thing you can do is open up to someone you love or trust. Please do not be afraid to tell a professional what happened to you.

Now, I want to talk about a few simple things that apply to everyone no matter your gender, orientation, age, or experience level.

Number 1: RESPECT

Respect is CRUCIAL when it comes to sex, and it’s equally important to have respect for yourself and your partner. When you’re young and you’re still discovering your own likes and limitations, respect for yourself is what will allow you to say NO or STOP. When someone does something you don’t like you need to voice your thoughts and feelings. At the same time, respect for your partner means stopping when they, themselves, say no or stop. Respect yourself because you are a beautiful human being worthy of respect, and respect your partner because, uh, hello! They’re letting you have sex with them which is pretty fucking awesome!

Number 2: COMMUNICATION

Communication really is key when it comes to having a positive experience. You both need to remember that you are not the only one in the room! I know that it would be easier if your partner could just read your mind and kiss or lick or touch that certain part of your body that makes your toes curl but they can’t. So just tell them!! 

Speaking openly and honestly is very difficult, but trust me. If you overcome that fear and you tell your partner exactly what you want, nine times out of 10 YOU. WILL. GET. WHAT. YOU. WANT! Your toes will curl and you’ll bite your lip and your partner is going to feel like a superhero because they just made you feel better than you’ve ever felt in your entire life. 

Furthermore, great sex requires intimacy and connection. Two people can bump and grind all they want, but if they’re not connecting on an emotional level then the sex is only ever going to run skin deep.

Number 3: HONESTY

Honesty is another important part of an enjoyable sex life. Obviously, it’s important to be honest with your partner if you have an S.T.I. I understand it’s embarrassing, and there is a chance they may not want to sleep with you, but it’s the LAW! 

First and foremost it’s important, to be honest about your intentions. We need to stop promising each other the moon when we only plan on hittin’ and quittin’. If you want a relationship then be honest about that. Don’t pretend to be okay with just fooling around. If you want to see other people then be honest about that. We are all vulnerable to heartbreak when we share ourselves with another person. But if we are all honest about our intentions before sleeping with each other we can avoid a lot of tears.

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Colin Murphy

Colin is a 32-year-old Professional Writing student currently in his second year at Algonquin College. Colin was born and raised in Newfoundland, but he has travelled around the world. Colin taught English in Guangzhou, China, backpacked across Europe, partied in Las Vegas, skied the Rockies and swam the beaches of Cuba and Mexico. He has worked and lived in six Canadian provinces and driven a transport truck across the ice roads under the northern lights of the Northwest Territories. He loves to laugh and sing, and write about himself in the third person! 

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Welcome to Murder Adulting!

Hello, homosapiens,

We’re a bunch of adults wanting to impart our wisdom on the rest of the world, so prepare yourselves.

I’m Kurt.

I’ve been ‘adulting’ for 6 years now. I feel like I’ve navigated a few scenarios and hope that this experience can give you some insight on how to be an adult. Unfortunately, I’m not certified, so I take no responsibility if you mess this up. 

Howdy, I’m KC,

An extremely small bean who loves to learn new things and create indie art masterpieces. As a new adult, I have been exposed to many fortunate and very unfortunate scenarios. So here's to the positive that I hope to share with you lovely individuals.

I am Mr. Colin Murphy.

At the ripe old age of 32, I am the resident senior of the group. I spent my 20s making every single mistake imaginable so that I could take all of that learning, growth, knowledge and experience and pass it along to you. 

Yellow yellow! I'm Kaden.

I’m the youngest one here, actually. I may not have a lot of experience in adulting but I still have my share of it. Things won't be easy, but we're here to help! I hope you come along for the ride and learn something new about yourself while you're at it. 

Hi, I’m Josee Leclair,

I’m 21 and I’m from Guelph, which is a part of the GTA. I’m newer to adulting so help me help you and we can conquer it together. I love to write poetry, read teen fiction, eat poutine and explore the outdoors. I’m passionate about mental health and self-discovery.