Stop Beating Yourself Up!

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For my final article, I would like to leave you all with some essential advice.

Be kind to yourself.

Stop beating yourself up and learn to love yourself truly. 

You are going to be YOU for the rest of your life, so you should start learning to love yourself truly.

So much of our pain and damage is self-inflicted. We tell ourselves that we're stupid, ugly, lazy, a loser, a wannabe, a whore. We tell ourselves a myriad of horrible lies, and we hold ourselves back from doing or being what we aspire to be.

I want you to try to break that cycle.

I know how hard it is, believe me. I fed myself these same lies for a long time. I hated myself so much I chose to spend years of my life sitting in the dark, drinking alone. I still struggle with negative thinking and I am known to take to the bed for days when it gets really bad.

But I am trying to break that cycle, and here’s how:

1.     I remember to breathe deep. - This is some of the best advice I could give you. The technique is known as box-breathing. You simply breathe in for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds and then keep all of your breath out of your body for four seconds. When you start to feel anxious, when you begin to doubt yourself or when your mind starts racing and you start putting yourself down, take a minute. Try this breathing technique and I guarantee it will help calm you down.

2.     I stretch. - Stretching sends blood flowing throughout your body, bringing nourishment to your muscles and taking away the waste. It is proven to relieve stress and, as a bonus, improves flexibility and posture.

3.     I move! - Your body is a beautiful, wonderful gift and it was built to move. Sitting around all day watching TV. playing video games or studying has a significant impact on your mental well-being. Going for a brisk walk, a swim or to the gym will boost your energy and mood.

4.     I make lists. - Making a gratitude list and a to-do list can have such a positive impact on your life:

  • Gratitude List – Taking some time to write down all of the things you’re grateful for will help you focus your mind on positivity. It can remind you how great you've got it. We tend to allow ourselves to become overwhelmed with negativity; a gratitude list is a great way to help you accentuate the positive.

  • To-do List – Making to-do lists has had a profound impact on my life. I am one of the least organized people in the world. When I am juggling several projects, I get very stressed out, and I worry that I forget something, then I usually DO forget something… making a to-do list relieves the stress caused by my disorganization. Furthermore, there is no better feeling than sitting down at the end of the day and deleting all of your accomplished goals off your list! It’s fantastic!

Some other life tips:

  • Make your bed,

  • Drink lots of water,

  • Eat plants,

  • Keep a journal,

  • Volunteer,

  • Be kind to people in the service industry,

  • Give big bear hugs, and

  • Tell the people you love that you love them

You are wonderful and you are doing your best. Stop being such a dick to yourself!

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Colin Murphy

Colin is a 32-year-old Professional Writing student currently in his second year at Algonquin College. Colin was born and raised in Newfoundland, but he has traveled around the world. Colin taught English in Guangzhou, China, backpacked across Europe, partied in Las Vegas, skied the Rockies and swam the beaches of Cuba and Mexico. He has worked and lived in six Canadian provinces and driven a transport truck across the ice roads under the northern lights of the Northwest Territories. He loves to laugh and sing, and write about himself in the third person!