Seventeen Moments With Death
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Photo courtesy of Andrew Crowley
Maggie O’Farrell has crafted a thought-provoking, original memoir that provides an insightful look into the life that she has lived and survived (seventeen times.) Each chapter acts as a self-contained essay, detailing individual events that nearly saw her sliding off the mortal coil. This memoir was particularly striking because it strayed from the traditional chronological format that most favour. Instead, this book leaps from year to year, moving forwards and backwards fluidly. Her identity is the key point in each chapter and the reader can watch as she develops, changing from a child to a mother, and back again.
Its seventeen chapters are varied in length and contain beautifully-written encounters with death. One of the most powerful elements of this memoir is that each event is honest, raw and relatable, but never sensationalized. The memoir genre is typically an attempt to capture the past in an authentic voice so as to connect with the reader. O’Farrell does this by exposing her feelings during each of the events, and her feelings after surviving death.
This memoir is centered around the idea of death. O’Farrell believes that near-death experiences are not extraordinary but rather mundane. The life afterwards is extraordinary because it provides opportunities. The trauma imposed by each event is something meant to be handled and learned from. She visibly grows from each encounter, moving towards her life potential.
One of the most unique elements of this memoir were the illustrations which preceded each chapter. Chapters with titles like “Neck” and “Cranium” offer insight into how the near-death encounter physically affected O’Farrell. Black and white illustrations of the human anatomy are paired with these headings, further connecting the reader to what experiences lie ahead. This is especially clever because it helps ground the writing while providing some structure in a story that is non-linear, rather than progressing in a chronological method. O’Farrell tends to get lost in her lyrical writing, resulting in sentences getting bogged down with descriptive but repetitive words, so the chapter headings and illustrations were useful items as they helped provide clarity to the reader.
Her opening chapter provides an insight into the life that O’Farrell is so often robbed of. At age 18, she is stranded on an isolated hiking path in the mountains with a man. As a female, this chapter is particularly alarming because of how relatable it is. O’Farrell admits to having taken self-defence programs in anticipation of an encounter like this, and she also admits to it not being enough. The man is a predator, stalking her and attempting to lure her off the trail but she manages to evade him. Her police report to the local station becomes a joke to authorities until the man is found guilty of having murdered a different woman a few days later. This chapter is extremely relevant for many women. Her opening chapter doesn’t just tell the story of her close encounter but fixates on the death of another, establishing her own mortality to the reader.
This book was written to be more than just a memoir. It is a gift to her daughter, who was born with severe allergies that make it a necessity to remain close to a hospital at all times. Her daughter experiences life “without protection.” This memoir shows that life finds a way.
O’Farrell has lived a chaotic life. The title “I Am, I Am, I Am” is inspired by Sylvia Plath, known for her own numerous (and intentional) brushes with death. Despite each event, O’Farrell does not become cautious and hesitant. Instead, she accepts the inevitable approach of death and lives brightly, moving towards new opportunities. Her life does not end, but rather it is something that is appreciated and valued. This memoir is meant to connect with others, share experiences and reveal that death is a mundane affair, not one worth waiting for.
Rachel Small
Rachel Small is not small and she writes a bit. She crawled to life one night after midnight in the basement of a bookstore.
