Baby, It's Cold Outside

Now that Christmas is over, there’s nothing to distract us from the one thought that is whirling through everyone’s minds: It’s COLD!

Sure, we noticed the mercury dropping in the thermometer centimeter by centimeter throughout December, but we considered it to be a good thing. Christmas is meant to be cold; we love having white Christmases and cozying up next to a fireplace –it adds to the whole appeal of the season.

But now that it’s over, our whole outlook has changed. We don’t have the beautiful twinkling lights to divert our eyes from the whirling snowstorm outside. We’ve already drank the peppermint hot-chocolate that warms us from the freezing temperatures. The holiday has ended, life resumes to a regular pace, and we are left to face the cruel effects of Canadian winter.

I hear complaints all the time about the weather. It’s the number one conversation we have, especially when we get into negative celsius. People ask, “Why am I living in a place where the air hurts my face?”. They cry when they have to wear two pairs of socks in their boots. They take out their shovels begrudgingly, ridding their driveways of the foot of snow accumulated overnight.

Letterkenny gets real about Canadian cold...

But is it all that bad? We’re Canadians, after all.

CBC released an article declaring Ottawa to be the coldest capital city in the world. The next day, The Washington Post casually announced that parts of Canada were reaching temperatures colder than the surface of Mars. No, really. Canada is colder than a planet which is 54.6 million kilometers further away from the sun than we are. If there’s anything to promote the Canadian stereotype that we all live in igloos, this is it.

Sure, our ears might be tingling after three minutes if we forget to grab our toques. Sure, our arms feel weak after digging our cars out of the snow. Sure, we have to pay more than the average human for an entire new wardrobe come the first flake of snow. But come on, think of all the unique things that such a cold climate gives us Canadians!

As cold-suffering Canadians…

• We get to enjoy the best kinds of fluffy socks.
• We get more days off school and work due to the copious amounts of snow.
• Seeing our breath in the air makes us feel like dragons.
• We get to go skating on the lakes before anyone else in the world.
• The Christmas songs with references to snow and cold actually make sense here.
• Nobody cares how ridiculous you look come mid-winter; if you’re warm, that’s what matters.
• Double-doubles and hot chocolate are never taken for granted.
• Shovelling snow is nature’s way of keeping us fit.
• Numb toes and fingers helps us appreciate them more.
• Being cold builds character.
• Our record-breaking temperatures perpetuate patriotism.

The list could go on and on, but I think I’ll leave it at that. Come on, folks! Despite all your complaints, I think deep down, any true and pure-hearted Canadian is inherently proud of the winters we face.

So bundle up and brace yourselves, because this is what being Canadian is all about.

Photo Courtesy of me.me.com

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Caitlin Bouwma looks at the world through her own set of binoculars. You'll often find her walking around with a camera or her pen and paper. Optimistic yet opinionated, she’s got a thing or two to say about the activities of her generation and those like it.

Merry Consumers-mas!

I’m not the Grinch. You can’t compare me with Ebenezer Scrooge. I don’t sneer at the Christmas carols that stick in your head like the snow glued them in there. I don’t roll my eyes when the decorations begin to sparkle from the windows at my neighbour’s homes. I don’t scowl at the volunteers with their instruments, collecting coins for the Salvation Army at the mall. I actually quite like Christmas.

But here’s the thing (you saw this coming). Christmastime is a season. It’s called Christmastime because there’s a certain amount of time allocated to the festivities. It’s an easy, logical concept, you’d think. We can’t go celebrating Christmas all year round, or else it’d lose its charm. I think that’s something nearly everyone can nod their heads and agree with, even the most decorated Christmas fanatics.

“If that’s not enough to dampen Christmas spirit, I don’t know what is.”

Everyone, except for those insane marketers so looped up in the reins of consumerism that you can’t even think ‘December’ without their blood swimming faster and dollar signs appearing in their eyes.

Now more than ever, retail is trying to extend Christmastime into the rest of the year. According to forbes.com, over $1 trillion was spent on holiday shopping last year alone, and it’s getting to the big corporations big heads. To them, the further they can extend Christmas into the rest of the year, the more money they can rope us into spending on their products. Now, we can barely sit down with our fall leaves before the red and green gifts begin to adorn the store windows. Thanksgiving is barely over before the radio ads begin blasting Christmas jingles in our ears, warning us about how little time we have left. Christmas is beginning to consume all the memorable dates on the fall calendar.

The mall where I work played their first Christmas song on the loudspeakers as little fairies and vampires were still trick-or-treating through our halls on Halloween. C’mon folks, have a little mercy! Beginning to play Christmas music before November has a chance to wake up is ridiculous. Those cheerful Christmas songs tinkling in the background trying to seduce the innocent shoppers into spending more of their hard-earned money is nothing to be proud of. It means nearly two months of the same Christmas bells on repeat. Every. Single. Day. If that’s not enough to dampen Christmas spirit, I don’t know what is.

Aside from the over-anxious retail playlists, what really gets me is the pressure. Everyone argues that Christmas is meant to be a time of peace, of celebrating family and sharing gifts of love and appreciation. Yet the moment you step outside into the material world, the weight of consumerism tromps on any joyful noise. Secret Santa’s, gift exchanges, presents for in-laws, cousins, friends of friends… the pressure to appease all of their superficial desires is dumped onto us by the endless stream of ads, posters, and commercials. If we don’t get them the perfect gift, we might as well forget about ever speaking to them again. Retail places massive expectations the giver of gifts, and it’s unbearable.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t buy loving gifts for each other. I’m not saying that Christmas music isn’t fun to listen to. But what isn’t fun is how commercialized Christmas has become. What’s not fun is how stressful the ‘holidays’ have become. What’s not fun is the headaches you get from the months of swirling lights, and clanging bells. Let’s just cancel all these pre-Christmastime extremities and take it down a few notches. I’d rather slip into the relaxation of family and fireplaces before I slip into the aggressive seduction of Christmas consumerism.

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Caitlin Bouwma looks at the world through her own set of binoculars. You'll often find her walking around with a camera or her pen and paper. Optimistic yet opinionated, she’s got a thing or two to say about the activities of her generation and those like it.

Healthy Living Ruins Your Life

So, here’s the thing. I get bombarded everywhere with voices telling me that I should be healthier. They say I should eat better food, work out more, or go for runs, all under the guise of trying to make me a healthier person. For example:
            “Too many potatoes are bad for you. Here, have some of my veggies.” –Best friend

            “Eat your greens!” –Mom

            “If you’re going to eat so many potatoes, you should be working out too.” –Doctor

            “Potatoes are not a vegetable.” –Classmate

            “Nutella gives you cancer.” –Boyfriend

I mean, it’s pretty clear that all the people who are meant to support me are really just trying to ruin my life. No potatoes? Yeah right. They say that it’s for my own good, but I can debunk their arguments just as quickly as they say them.

Now, this is the kind of healthy living that I can easily support. Who could say no to a home-grown pizza?

ARGUMENT #1: IT MAKES YOU ENERGETIC AND HAPPY

I’ve got one word for you, sister: coffee. Why would I want to subject myself to hours of physical torture every day at the gym, exhausting myself every week just so I can ‘have more energy’? Do you mean to say that tiring myself out at the gym will somehow make me less tired?

On that note, I’d really like to know how suffering through countless hours working out and running, and slaving over salads is supposed to make me happy. That sounds miserable to me! How about I just save myself the pain, the time and all that energy by sipping on a caffeine-filled cup of cappuccino goodness? I can show you instant results.

ARGUMENT #2: IT MAKES YOU MORE COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF

This one makes me laugh. You think I’d be more comfortable wearing a veggie crown of carrots and peppers than stuffing my face with those glorious garlic mashed potatoes from comfort-food heaven? Think again.

Additionally, I can assure you that I will not be comfortable with my body when the judgmental walls of mirrors magnify every flaw of my routine and body from every angle. Not only that, but I am put on display so that everyone else at the gym will be able to see how awful I am at working out. Do you really expect me to feel confident with Mr. Macho right there, deadlifting weights twice the size of me? Absolutely not! No, I am most comfortable with myself when I’m cuddled up with my sweatpants and a bowl of potato chips, and you can't tell me otherwise.

ARGUMENT #3: IT’S GOOD FOR YOUR BODY:

Alright, everyone hold the phone. Do you know who I hear complaining about ailments and pain the most? That’s right, it’s all those healthy nuts out there! You certainly don’t hear me crying about how I can’t walk up the stairs because yesterday was leg day. And you won’t see me choking down some revolting protein shake because it’s supposed to make me healthier.

Who are the one’s suffering from knee problems because they run too much? The marathoners. Who are the ones with popped shoulders and arthritis? The weightlifters. Should I mention that half of those who visit physiotherapists are athletes? That’s right. The amount of pain that these ‘healthy’ friends of mine are in really makes me question whether it’s actually good for my body or not.

So this is for you, Mom, and all those other healthy experts trying to ruin my life. I see what game you’re trying to play, and I refuse to take part in it! You think I should ‘take better care’ of myself, but it looks like I’m doing just fine as it is!

And what’s with the hate against the potatoes, anyway?! I’m just sayin’.

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Caitlin Bouwma looks at the world through her own set of binoculars. You'll often find her walking around with a camera or her pen and paper. Optimistic yet opinionated, she’s got a thing or two to say about the activities of her generation and those like it.

Enter: The Mic Drop

Welcome to our den of unpopular opinions, where unspoken thoughts are crafted into pixel-etched words. Follow along, as this group of over enthusiastic millennials poke the sleeping bear, stir the pot and cause trouble. We can’t be the only ones who think that some things are a little bit odd these days, right? I mean, avocados are clearly gross. Game of Thrones is way more popular than it has any right to be. Hopefully you find us as funny and challenging as we think we are –but in the likelihood that you are offended, chances are one of us has something to say about that too. We’re just sayin’ what no one else wants to say.