Or How to Manage A Multicultural Wedding
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A wedding… such a beautiful event, isn’t it? Unfortunately, when you come from two completely different cultures, be prepared to face a lot of problems, but not because of your partner. Generally, the main question is: “how do we do it? Do we do it your way, mine, a mix of both or find a unique new one?”
Let me give you an example. in my case, my fiancé and I had two options: the Indian way, with around 1000 guests, a 10kg saree and a Hindu ceremony; or the French one, with the famous white dress and the restricted number of guests because of budget (officially).
However, we didn’t want either of them. Everything in a relationship should have a balance, otherwise, one of the partners ends up having regrets and disappointments. So our ideal way out was to choose the best of both sides and have a unique mix of traditions for our wedding.
The problem is, many families have a lot of hopes connected to seeing their kids getting married in a certain kind of way. Which means they often tend to make not-so-subtle comments about any choice the groom and bride make that doesn’t go in their way. This leads to loads of arguments and what was supposed to be a beautiful occasion turns sour for many people.
My advice would be to use the beauty of your multiculturalism. Create your own style of wedding. Either by mixing both of your cultures or using none of them. Make it entirely yours. Let’s be crazy, get married twice!
You will have to decide which traditions to follow, which place you want to celebrate it in, which outfits you’ll prefer to wear…
The questions are endless, and the fear of hurting your relatives or the ones of your partner will never leave. Just remember you can never satisfy everyone, and you shouldn’t try to, either.
Your wedding is your day. Only you and your partner should be satisfied.
Your wedding should represent the same balance you and your partner will strive work on to keep all along your life. Neither of you should forget your roots, but neither of you should feel ashamed to embrace traditions that are not yours either! If you’ve always loved henna and want to get it for your wedding, who cares if it is not from your own traditions?
It is impossible to be perfect for others, so make sure you are perfect for yourself.
Being judged is something we all face. Everyday. If there is one day you should try to not care, it should be the day of your wedding.
Angelika, a Frenchie with limited patience and very low social energy. She very often hates people who are loved by everyone and complain approximately 100 percent of the time. She generally talks way too much when she stresses and always promises herself that she would never do that again, before, of course, doing it again.
