Or How to Manage A Multicultural Wedding

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A wedding… such a beautiful event, isn’t it? Unfortunately, when you come from two completely different cultures, be prepared to face a lot of problems, but not because of your partner. Generally, the main question is: “how do we do it? Do we do it your way, mine, a mix of both or find a unique new one?”

Let me give you an example. in my case, my fiancé and I had two options: the Indian way, with around 1000 guests, a 10kg saree and a Hindu ceremony; or the French one, with the famous white dress and the restricted number of guests because of budget (officially).

However, we didn’t want either of them. Everything in a relationship should have a balance, otherwise, one of the partners ends up having regrets and disappointments. So our ideal way out was to choose the best of both sides and have a unique mix of traditions for our wedding.

The problem is, many families have a lot of hopes connected to seeing their kids getting married in a certain kind of way. Which means they often tend to make not-so-subtle comments about any choice the groom and bride make that doesn’t go in their way. This leads to loads of arguments and what was supposed to be a beautiful occasion turns sour for many people.

My advice would be to use the beauty of your multiculturalism. Create your own style of wedding. Either by mixing both of your cultures or using none of them. Make it entirely yours. Let’s be crazy, get married twice!

You will have to decide which traditions to follow, which place you want to celebrate it in, which outfits you’ll prefer to wear…

The questions are endless, and the fear of hurting your relatives or the ones of your partner will never leave. Just remember you can never satisfy everyone, and you shouldn’t try to, either.

Your wedding is your day. Only you and your partner should be satisfied.

Your wedding should represent the same balance you and your partner will strive work on to keep all along your life. Neither of you should forget your roots, but neither of you should feel ashamed to embrace traditions that are not yours either! If you’ve always loved henna and want to get it for your wedding, who cares if it is not from your own traditions?

It is impossible to be perfect for others, so make sure you are perfect for yourself.

Being judged is something we all face. Everyday. If there is one day you should try to not care, it should be the day of your wedding.

Angelika, a Frenchie with limited patience and very low social energy. She very often hates people who are loved by everyone and complain approximately 100 percent of the time. She generally talks way too much when she stresses and always promises herself that she would never do that again, before, of course, doing it again.

Two countries, two cultures, one heart

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You know how you can feel dumb half of the time when you travel to a foreign country because half of the things don’t make sense? Well, that is pretty much going to be a common feeling if you end up in a multicultural couple.

Don’t get me wrong, I personally adore being on this journey, and it has countless positive sides… but it means facing a lot of unexpected complications too.

Cultures definitely have a huge impact on our education and how we end up seeing the world. For example, someone from India and someone from France has very different opinions about how family works, and technically, there is no problem with this.

Except on the day these two people decide to create a family together.

While French parents expect their kids to leave the house once they are independent, Indian parents are used to having their son stay home forever with his wife. The entire country is organized in a way where retired parents would struggle if they did not prepare themselves to live without the financial support of their son, while the French wife could feel suffocated if they decided to live with his parents.

In my opinion, this is when the open-mindedness of people enters into action. No matter where we come from, we do not always agree with our country’s traditions, and if we do, we can be open to different opinions.

Being from two different countries can mean having different cuisines, different religions, and different visions about what is right and what is not… Moreover, as I mentioned family earlier, family can be a big problem because parents do not always accept the fact their child married a foreigner. This can lead to quarrels, painful conversations, and sometimes, unfortunately, to break ties with relatives.

But it can mean beautiful discoveries too. Being in a multicultural relationship can help you to grow. It makes you see the world in a way you may never have thought about. It can lead you to live in a country you would have never considered; a country that turns into your home.

As someone who found love on the other side of the planet, I can tell you I could not be more grateful. This relationship enabled me to open my mind and become a better person. It gave me opportunities I would have never thought about before. And most of all, it forced me to get out of my comfort zone. It proved to me I could be so much more than I thought.

So yes, you will have to learn and teach a new way to cook. You will have to handle a family that might not accept you immediately. You will have to accept that your vision of life is not the only one. But if this person is your soulmate, no matter what differences of opinions you have, you will both work it out beautifully.

(But good luck when you will have to decide how to organize your wedding.)

Angelika, a Frenchie with limited patience and very low social energy. She very often hates people who are loved by everyone and complain approximately 100 percent of the time. She generally talks way too much when she stresses and always promises herself that she would never do that again, before, of course, doing it again.