Nostalgia for 2020?

It was the best of times, It the worst of times. But mostly the worst of times

December is often a month of reflection, a celebration of the old year as we hopefully descend into a new one. However, I think we can all agree that the beginning of the decade did not start on the right foot. Between a global pandemic, killer hornets, and fires in the Amazon, it feels as if we are living in a dystopian nightmare.  As we wrap up these final days of 2020, we remain cautiously optimistic about the new year- probably more cautious than optimistic. But despite all the hardships we endured throughout the last 365 days when we look back in five or ten years, will we have nostalgia for 2020?

2020: A Bitter Sweet Memory

I’m sure those who survived the plague didn’t look back and say, “Hey, remember the Bubonic plague? That was fun!” I am positive that no one will bask in the memory of a province-wide lockdown and wearing face masks. Anyone who is an essential service worker or a health care provider can tell you first hand that there is nothing fun about a pandemic. But 2020 reminded us that the human race is resilient.

In an election that brought the world to its knees, U.S. President-elect Joe Biden made history by earning 80 million votes. At the same time, Kamala Harris, VP-elect, will become the first woman to be vice-president. While across the globe, over one-hundred COVID-19 vaccines are in development. Students and professionals worldwide are continually adapting to an online environment, and they are thriving- suffering, but making it work.

Everyone has their definition of nostalgia. Zoom presentations may not give us that warm and fuzzy feeling, but there are key moments that we will fondly look back on.

Suppose the only memory you have of this year is surviving. Let that be your greatest accomplishment. In five years from now, you can say with pride that you survived 2020. Like director Brad Bird once said, “It’s not fun crossing the Gobi desert, but at least you can say you made it out the other side.”

New year, Now What?  

2020 was no doubt a challenge for pretty much everyone. As we reach the end of this dismal year, it’s hard to stay optimistic when it seems as if life is getting worse instead of better. We are still living through uncertain times. This pandemic isn’t going to end just because the clock strikes midnight. The calendar is not going to restore the economy. Most of us are still longing for the days before masks and social distancing.

However, the start of a new year is like a blank page in the story that is your life. Okay, that’s cheesy, but there is an opportunity to start over come January 1st. Of course, that is much easier said than done. Depending on how you experienced the last twelve months, it’s natural to feel a bit anxious, lost and even hopeless. But as we try to carry on, we must recognize that we have the absolute power to choose what we take with us. So, what will you remember? What will you leave in 2020, but more importantly, what will you take with you?    

 

“Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you.” – Taylor Swift, New Years Day  

 


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Liz Marion

Liz is a full time student with a background in illustration and concept art. She is currently trying her best.

The Making of a Memory

Some memories feel like they just happened yesterday. Yet others can feel so far away.

I remember just about everything from the trip my then-boyfriend and I took last summer. I remember the clothes I wore, the food we packed, and the name of the sweet lady who’s cabin we stayed at. I could tell you the name of the park we were visiting, the path we were hiking, and even the exact time that my boyfriend got down on one knee and became my fiancé. 

I knew that entire weekend that we were making memories I would want to hold onto forever. For some people, remembering details like these may seem like a breeze. But I am what you could call a poor historian — I struggle to hold onto my long-term memories. The fact that I can remember these specific details that happened 16 months ago is a small but mighty victory for me!

I’ve always wondered why long-term memories are easy for some to hold onto and not for others, so I did a little digging. What actually goes into making a memory?

Short-Term Memory: the RAM

The brain is a complex organ, so of course the answer to this question is complex as well. But to make this easier to understand, let’s compare the brain to a computer. Our short-term memory is like the RAM in our computers, only holding onto information that we are currently working with. Our short-term memory is probably a lot shorter than you think, lasting only between 15 to 30 seconds! 

For example, if someone tells you an address or phone number, without repeating the information to yourself until it’s been committed to memory you will eventually —and fairly quickly— forget this information. It’s super easy to interfere with our short-term memory with new incoming information, but if you take the time to attend to the information it might just make it to the next stage —long-term memory! 


Long-Term Memory: the hard drive

We have a love-hate relationship with our long-term memory, don’t we? It can hold super sweet moments with loved ones, but it can also cling onto things we might wish we could forget. 

Warning: we’re about to get scientific! Long-term memories actually have a physical presence in the brain. Neurons make physical connections and synapses with each other when a new long-term memory is made. This connection exists whether it’s being used or not. 

There are even different categories for these types of memories: explicit and implicit memories. Implicit memories are those habits and skills that our mind and body does automatically. Like driving a car or or typing on a keyboard.

Explicit memories on the other hand are things that we are consciously aware of. This is also split up into two different groups: episodic and semantic memories. Semantic memories are our general knowledge of a variety of things, such as knowing that the capital of Ontario is Toronto. Episodic memories are memories of things and events, like remembering when you got lost on your trip to Toronto. 

We have the hippocampus to thank for regulating our memories. This region of the brain links all of the information it believes to be relevant and encodes it into memories for us. So the next time you’re frustrated about being kept up late at night reliving a memory you would much rather forget, curse your hippocampus! 

Memories need homes too!

Unfortunately, like your computer, the brain does not have an endless amount of space to store all the memories you could possibly make in your lifetime. While newer memories can hang out in the hippocampus for a while, eventually they have to migrate further into your cortex. Consider this your brain filing things away for you. But unlike a book you can file away and come back to read the same old story again, memories are constantly being updated and tweaked. 

So where do memories go when we forget them? Can we get them back again? It often feels like some memories are gone forever, but they’re just like a lost shoe in your house. It’s there, somewhere, you just can’t use it! When we try to access forgotten memories, signals are sent from our frontal cortex and our computer —I mean brain— reconstructs the memory from the information available to it. The more often you use the memory, the easier it will be to find. 

Our senses often help to rebuild memories too. Our sense of smell is a wonderful tool to help us with memories, but simply being in the presence of any elements that were in your original memory will help with retrieval. So if you’re trying to remember something that happened during a pizza party, order yourself a pizza. This isn’t an exact science, but even if it doesn’t jog the memory you were hoping for, at least you have a pizza! 


Let’s remember, it’s okay to forget

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Now that I’ve overloaded your brain with information, please don’t feel pressured into remembering everything you’ve just read. If you take away anything, let it be this: you can always relearn things, but you can’t always relive them. Our memories are precious to us because we can’t go and relive the same thing twice, not truely. 

Even when our memory fails us, we find ways to remember — from photographs and journals, to blogs and conversations. We have friends that will gladly remind us of all the embarrassing things we did on a night out. We have family that can retell that childhood story from when we were nine. 

Fond memories will find us, one way or another.


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Peyton Scott

Peyton is a full-time student, part-time writer, and partial night owl. She falls in love with everything at least once, but especially (and in no particular order): words, furry creatures, empty notebooks, true crime, hikes (and probably you).

Instagram: @peyyscott

Twitter: @peyytonscott

Transforming Nostalgia through Aesthetics

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Nostalgia isn’t simply something that remains in our past. Creators like artists, game designers and fashion designers can actually transform nostalgia into something entirely new through the use of aesthetics.

Aesthetics, often spelled out as A E S T H E T I C S, is a term that’s a little hard to describe. It’s a combination between worldbuilding and genre, each aesthetic having a strong visual and auditory signature. It can be applied to any medium, though as we’ll discuss, some mediums showcase certain aesthetics better than others.

The best way to understand aesthetics is to dive right in, experiencing the aesthetic for yourself. In lieu of that, I’ll do my best here to describe some of these aesthetics to you.

The “Waves” – Vaporwave and Synthwave

Vaporwave

an example of the blur effect often used in Vaporwave.

an example of the blur effect often used in Vaporwave.

Vaporwave is an aesthetic that simply oozes the ‘90s, though it was actually created in the early 2010s. It’s actually a bit of a nostalgia scene for both eras since there’s a lot of internet culture from the past decade included.

In fact, this aesthetic isn’t meant to be taken 100% seriously. It embraces its ironic status, juxtaposing drug and memes with heavy anti-capitalism themes.

Retro technological glitches are a staple of Vaporwave. It often uses muddled colours, screen flickering and even those blurry lines you get when you fast forward a VCR.

There’s a lot of old pop culture used in Vaporwave, like Sailor Moon and The Simpsons — because of the anti-consumerism message behind this aesthetic, brands and commercials are used a lot as well. Jingles and elevator music are often used, remixed ironically to riff upon capitalism.

Synthwave

There are other types of “waves” as well, from Retrowave and Chillwave to the one we’ll discuss here — Synthwave.

Synthwave is one of the more well known “waves”, having a few key differences to Vaporwave.

Here’s a great royalty free playlist by Envato Elements, which includes some nice examples of Synthwave and Vaporwave music.

  1. Synthwave embraces the ‘80s over the ‘90s. The lines between the two aesthetics are often blurred, however, so ‘90s Synthwave exists.

  2. Far less memes!

  3. It often goes for a crisper neon colour scheme, while losing some of the blurring effects that Vaporwave takes advantage of.

  4. Synthwave is far less cynical, having a more positive, earnest outlook towards mass consumerism.

  5. The music typically doesn’t use jingles, going instead for a smoother electronic sound.

I truly love both Vaporwave and Synthwave. Even though I’m a ‘90s child and clearly have a soft spot for this form of nostalgia, aesthetics aren’t limited to just the past few decades.

The “Punks” – Steampunk and Cyberpunk

Steampunk

WHAT A COOL OUTFIT! steampunk cosplay is a great way to use this aesthetic for self expression

WHAT A COOL OUTFIT! steampunk cosplay is a great way to use this aesthetic for self expression

Let us go all the way back to the 1880s. Well technically 1837-1901 – the Victorian era. Steampunk innovates upon the distant past, pairing modern inventions and machinery with steam power and Victorian flair. And lots and lots of gears.

Interestingly enough, Steampunk doesn’t have a strong musical presence like the other aesthetics on this list. While there are songs labelled as Steampunk, the main auditory elements of the aesthetic are mechanical sounds – gears turning, tools clanging, steam whistling.

This makes sense when you consider that Steampunk was originally a science fiction subgenre before evolving into a full-blown aesthetic, with popular TV and movies, fashion and video games embracing its whimsy.

Steampunk is an aesthetic that asks us many questions. What would society be if the Victorian era never ended? What kind of progress could we as the human race make with only steam power? The answers to these questions are at the crux of the Steampunk aesthetic.

Cyberpunk

Set in the future, Cyberpunk mixes high tech with dark themes — alcohol/drug abuse, poverty and cynical takes on capitalism. It embraces its dystopian nature. It crawls through the underbelly of this future society, and in doing so, making poignant commentary on society today.

VA-11 Hall: Cyberpunk Bartender Action is both a perfect example of Cyberpunk and a gem of a gaming experience. Link to the PC (Steam) version HERE

Cyberpunk is also inspired by the 1980s – embracing the neon colours much like Synthwave but set in a dark moody cityscape. Using punk inspired electronic beats, Cyberpunk creates a slightly dated, grungier version of what we once thought was the future.

One of the best ways to experience Cyberpunk is through video games. It is prime for dark storytelling, which accompanied by strong visual signatures and electronic music creates a wonderful gaming experience.

Really though, all of these aesthetics have great video games. I could easily write another blog just on video games with strong aesthetics!

Overall, I had a bunch of fun covering these aesthetics. The potential for creativity and self expression are truly endless with aesthetics. They are a powerful way to not only unlock, but actually evolve nostalgia into new art forms.

If you’re still curious about aesthetics or want to learn more about aesthetics in general, the Aesthetics Wiki is a great user created space to explore.


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Emma Cayen

Emma is in her final year in the Professional Writing program at Algonquin. Looking forward to her future in the writing world, she even finds herself dreaming of plot bunnies in her sleep. Emma also enjoys beating her sister at a good game of Mario Party, well as spending time with her beloved cat George.

Nostalgia, Relationships, and Heartbreak: a sweet and sour cocktail

In the light of day, a walk down memory lane can be a dream. Under the cover of night though, it can feel more like a nightmare. 

In the quiet hours of the night, you remember what it was like to hold their hand in public. You can’t help but reflect on the late nights and early mornings shared together or the way their voice brightened even the darkest of days. You don’t stay lingering on what caused it all to crumble; your mind can only showcase your highlight reels. Nostalgia has gone from friend to foe, a bitter drink that you must now swallow.

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If you romanticize the past like I do, moving on may feel like the most challenging journey you’ve ever had to take. Nostalgia can get us through the toughest of times, but it can also be our demise. And when you stir in nostalgia with a heaping of heartbreak, you may be in for a long ride to healing. 

I know you may want a quick fix—an easy answer. So you may not be thrilled when I say that the trick to healing your wounded heart is trust and time. Trust that you’ve gone with your intuition and made the right decision; let time cascade over you like a band-aid.

You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let them go. I tie no weights to my ankles.
— C. Joybell C.


But can nostalgia keep us in a relationship past its expiration date? Or is it the saving grace a couple needs?

The simple answer is yes—to both.

The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.
— Ernest Hemingway, Men Without Women

Looking back on the good ol’ days in a relationship can give us the warm fuzzies we need to plow through rough times. We know that nostalgia can provide us with the power to be resilient, and when days get dark within a relationship, nostalgia can be the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Looking back on the honeymoon bliss at the beginning of your relationship or the fun adventures you’ve had together can remind you of the effortless love and admiration you had, and may still have, for each other. A good bout of reminiscing may be the remedy for your relationship woes!

But, like a double-edged sword, reminding yourself of your past can magnify the unhappiness you may currently feel in your relationship. Realizing what you no longer have or need can be a painful stake to the heart. A wound one may struggle to heal from. 

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Although research hasn’t been able to confirm or deny whether nostalgia is more beneficial than it is harmful, I say it goes both ways. Like most things, nostalgia and reminiscing should be enjoyed in small doses. Couples that find themselves fighting for their relationship may find that reflecting on fond memories is a great motivator—in the short term. In the long run, though, a good blast from the past will most likely not be enough to undo any current damage. 

Maybe nostalgia will be the spark of hope you and your partner need to persevere through hard times, or perhaps the contrast between where you were and where the two of you are now will be too disheartening to bear. At the end of the day, though, if the days behind you seem brighter than the ones ahead of you, it’s probably time to reevaluate. 

Shake things up! Fall back in love with all the possibilities the future can hold. Let go of anyone and anything that may not get you to where you want to be. Put happiness first and foremost.

You’ll thank yourself for it later. And maybe, hopefully someday soon, memory lane won’t seem so dark. 


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Peyton Scott

Peyton is a full-time student, part-time writer, and partial night owl. She falls in love with everything at least once, but especially (and in no particular order): words, furry creatures, empty notebooks, true crime, hikes (and probably you).

Instagram: @peyyscott

Twitter: @peyytonscott

Nostalgia and Memories

Do you need memories in order to be nostalgic?

The default answer to that question for most folks would be yes. After all, how can you be nostalgic for something you have no memory of? Yet my own memories, or lack thereof, causes me to think that the answer is far less black and white than it appears to be.

I have a condition called Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory (SDAM). It is a syndrome that describes the lifelong inability to use a type of memory called episodic memory. It isn’t a sign of brain damage or dementia — it simply means that I can’t remember things in the same way other folks do. 

But what is episodic memory?

Whenever people use their memory consciously to think back upon something, there are two types of memories that they use.

Episodic memory is when you remember things in a first-person perspective. It’s the memory that lets you live out your past and relive your memories. This is the type of memory I’m lacking with SDAM.

Semantic memory is the memory that holds onto your general knowledge of things. It’s the memory that helps you study for tests and remember facts and figures. It can be used to piece together your day if you’re unable to rely on episodic memory. This type of memory I have plenty of.

I’m going to dive into my personal experiences now, so if you have any questions about SDAM that I didn’t cover above, click here.

What’s it like having SDAM?

My mom on her 56th birthday. We celebrated at Casino Du Lac Leamy, which was her favourite casino.

My mom on her 56th birthday. We celebrated at Casino Du Lac Leamy, which was her favourite casino.

Having SDAM often makes me feel like I’m an outsider in my own life. If I were to write an autobiography, it would be full of blanks and question marks. 

On the right, I have a picture of the last birthday I celebrated with my mom. For most folks, this would be memorable, especially since she passed away the following year.

So what do I recall about that evening?

Well, we were supposed to go on a cruise funded by my mom’s work that coincided with her birthday. The so-called “cruise” ended up being a dinky little boat and we all refused to go on it. After a bit of disappointment, we decided to salvage the night and went to the casino. We had dinner and then we enjoyed some lighthearted gambling.

This makes it sound like I remember a lot about that evening, but truly I don’t. I wouldn’t have even recalled what I told you without the picture as a reference – my semantic memory would have failed me without the prompting.

Despite my best efforts, I can’t remember more. I couldn’t tell you how the boat looked, just that it was too small. I don’t recall what anybody was wearing or what they said that evening. I certainly don’t remember that chocolate cake. Where my episodic memory should be, there’s nothing but a few vague feelings to go along with my knowledge of the evening.

And yet, I feel nostalgic for that day.

Too bad my villagers don’t love my casino as much as I do. it’s almost always empty.

Too bad my villagers don’t love my casino as much as I do. it’s almost always empty.

Despite my lack of concrete memories, I have a warm fuzzy feeling when I think back on that day. I have a nostalgic feeling towards the casino because it reminds me of my mom, back when she was happy and healthy. I even made a little casino in my Animal Crossing: New Horizons island as a way to remember that day as best I could.

My theory is that episodic memories are simply a way to easily prompt nostalgia. You can’t be nostalgic for something that you’ve never experienced, sure, but the type of memory that triggers nostalgia doesn’t necessarily need to be episodic.

Have you ever smelled a scent that you could swear seems familiar, but you can’t quite remember where it’s from? Or have you hummed a song, the name of which is on the tip of your tongue? That’s what nostalgia feels like to me. It’s this longing to go back to a time, a time that I can’t quite remember but miss all the same.


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Emma Cayen

Emma is in her final year in the Professional Writing program at Algonquin. Looking forward to her future in the writing world, she even finds herself dreaming of plot bunnies in her sleep. Emma also enjoys beating her sister at a good game of Mario Party, well as spending time with her beloved cat George.