The Mighty Pizza and the Curse of the Wrong Toppings

A Classic Pepperoni Pizza

Who likes pizza?

Personally, I don`t know a single person who doesn’t like pizza. Add to the fact that I could eat pizza for a couple days in a row, and now you know how I feel about them. But, oh mighty Pizza Gods, what should be found on a pizza?

Pizza toppings are sacred; pepperoni, cheese, pizza sauce, and more cheese. These are normal pizza toppings. A bit bland so let`s keep going!

Bacon, cheese, peppers, and onions are some more great pizza toppings. If you want to stretch the limits, then head towards the meat section by adding chicken, pork, or ham… but add mushrooms and green olives — you`re pushing it — and you have obviously hit as far as pizza toppings should go.

Yet, there are a few psychopaths who defy the mighty Pizza Gods and directly attack them with these sickening toppings. Wondering what these toppings may be? I’m warning you this one time only; proceed at your own risk.

Still here? Good, now we can fully assault these Pizza Desecrators and reveal the most disgusting, revolting, insulting, and put simply, worst pizza toppings to have ever existed.

The acidic and horrible Pinneaple Pizza

Let’s start with an easy one for those of you with a weak stomach: pineapple. I mean, who puts pineapple on pizza?! It’s a fruit! Not a pizza topping! The acidic properties of the pineapple itself should be able to dissuade you from putting it on pizza. Don`t you want to taste the pizza?

With pineapple out of the way, have you ever thought or planned to put shrimps or anchovies on your pizza? Don`t. The pizza isn`t found in the aquarium, neither is it meant for an aquarium date or party. Come on, people. Seafood on pizza is like eating a hamburger, but instead of having the patty, you`d find water floating there waiting to be eaten. It just doesn`t work. And the seafood on the pizza — it just doesn`t look or taste good. Just makes me want to throw the pizza out.

Alright, before we continue, I do feel responsible and required to warn you one last time. I know, I said I wouldn`t warn you again, but these last two might have you running for the closest garbage can.

We talked about seafood and pineapple on pizza. But, do you know what would be worse? Canned. Tuna. Fish. You want seafood at it’s worst, (I don`t even know if that can still be called seafood at this point), but canned tuna fish is your answer. This monstrosity smells horrible and if you ask me, and many others, it tastes just as bad, if not worse. Now slap that onto a pizza and you’ve got a recipe meant for the garbage can to devour. Nobody wants canned foods on their pizza, much less canned tuna fish, so keep that crap at the back of your cupboard, ya’ lunatic!

The Monstrosity that is an egg pizza

Yet, there’s one last item that even a lunatic wouldn`t dare put on their pizza. A single piece of food that only a psychopathic sociopath would utilize as a pizza topping. This item, is none other than — an egg. Cue the thunder and lightning. I mean what kind of person desecrates a pizza by letting an egg, scrambled or over-easy, doesn`t matter, slide onto their pizza and pose a pizza topping!? Who could even think of doing that?! I hope that nobody reading this ever has to witness this atrocity in person, or ever does this to the sacred pizza.

Now, if you ask me, if I ever saw someone putting any of these toppings on a pizza, you`d see me running in the opposite direction. But, in the world that we live in, I know that some people prefer to have these toppings on their pizza, and I respect that. Just make sure that you have the good ones on there too. Otherwise, I’ll make sure to stay far away when you eat your pizza.

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Zackary Brunet is a year 2 Professional Writing student who adores reading and writing. An aspiring novelist, Zack can be found hiding in his room, headphones on with music blaring, his fingers typing away on his computer`s keyboard. If you can`t find him there, look for his gaming set-up, or look for his secret stash of food, and you`ll be sure to find him.

The Preferred Foods of Animals

Preferred foods are something we can all relate to. We all eat an assortment of different foods, but the age-old question “What is your favorite food?” always comes up at some point. For us, humans that is, it`s generally easy to let others know what our favorite foods are, I mean, all we need to do is say, I like pizza the most for example. But did you know that animals have favorite foods? Better yet, is the fact that their favorite foods aren`t always what we think might think.

Preference is usually a result of the mixture of our taste buds, how accessible the food type might be, and how good it makes us feel. Sugary foods might give us a boost in the short run, but we`d usually be crashing later. Junk foods such as pizza and fast foods might be filling and taste awesome, but we might get bloated or sick of it in the long run. Now for the healthy foods, for the rare few of us that enjoy these more, they might not always taste the greatest. I know I`d prefer a chocolate bar over blueberries, but the benefit of favoring such a healthy food stands in it`s nutrition. And nutrition is how animals pick their favorite foods.

Now some of you might be thinking, how does that work? What if the healthy food tastes horrible but holds great nutritional value? How come this animals prefers that one? The answer is simple. Do you know someone who dislikes pineapple? Or do you know someone who adores pineapple? The same reasoning why one person might dislike or prefer a certain food is the same reason an animal might prefer a more nutritious food over what we might be offering them.

Animals have a nose for their food’s nutritious value; you`d kind of have to if it meant surviving in the wilds, right? But we`re also talking about animals that live as pets. The natural nose and desire for a nutritious meal is what grants them the ability to choose their preferred foods.

Alright, lets get into some examples! Think about a classic one, the monkey and the banana. Think the banana is their favourite food? Nope! In fact, monkeys would pick grapes, apples, carrots, and nuts before going for the banana. Here`s a fun fact though about bananas and monkeys; did you know that monkeys are usually given bananas to maintain high amounts of sugar? Let`s think of cats next, a kitten would usually jump at any opportunity for milk over water or any other liquid. But as it grows older, did you know that a cat wouldn`t be looking to feed on fish? In fact, meat is the primary source of food they`d be looking for.

Last but not least, dogs are a famous pet, one that people might think prefers bones and meat over other foods. While they do enjoy a solid bone to gnaw at, dogs can be considered diet conscious, preferring- and choosing foods that are high in vitamins and proteins. While they might eat anything from meat, leftovers, the veggies you didn`t want to eat, or your socks, they will always be happy to take your vitamin and protein filled food options.

Looking back, we could agree that humans and animals both have preferred foods. While we`ve gone past the need to be diet conscious thanks to our medicine and supplements. But, the instinct is still hard wired in animals across the world. So, keep an eye on that pet of yours, give it a few more veggies if it`s a dog, and more meat if it`s a cat. But remember, while we can use our words to showcase what we prefer, they can only use their actions. So, keep your eyes open, and you might just catch another surprising fact about the preferred foods of animals.

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Zackary Brunet is a year 2 Professional Writing student who adores reading and writing. An aspiring novelist, Zack can be found hiding in his room, headphones on with music blaring, his fingers typing away on his computer`s keyboard. If you can`t find him there, look for his gaming set-up, or look for his secret stash of food, and you`ll be sure to find him.

Foraging in the Wild

Foraging is the act of looking for wild, edible, and safe foods to gather, eat, or farm. This was usually done as a way of survival, as the way to gather food in ancient times consisted of hunting, fishing, farming, and, last but not least, foraging.

Although there are many reasons why people turn to foraging in this day and age, for some, it`s the basic act of survival. For a few more, it`s a hobby. And for the rest who look to foraging, it`s a way of eating healthier.

So, what does a forager look for?

Foragers look for mushrooms, a common fungus that finds itself in their crosshair. While some mushrooms are nutritious and safe to consume, others aren`t as safe and, they can even be poisonous. Therefore, to forage them, one must have an in-depth knowledge of mushrooms, both edible and poisonous

Greens; consisting of lettuce, beats, broccoli, cauliflower, celery, spinach, cabbage, and asparagus, are some of the foods considered when thinking of what a “green” is. These are completely edible, and while they can be found in the wild, some people have them growing in their gardens, while others have greens, unknowingly growing in their backyards. Unlike previous options for foods that can be foraged, greens have a great range of nutrients and vitamins that are, in essence, very healthy for our growth and well-being.

Elderberries

Berries and fruits are another source of food that finds itself in the forager’s path. As something many of us buy in store, it`s a food type that we know about, that we may even desire. While most of these berries and fruits are highly nutritious, have anti-inflammatory aspects, and are antioxidants, some berries and fruits could be dangerous for us. A great example of these dangerous look-alikes would be the edible elderberries, the mildly-toxic pokeberries, and the highly-toxic water hemlock berries.

Pokeberries

Water Hemlock Berries

Although there are other foods that can be foraged such as nuts, seeds, and roots, did you know that shellfish are also considered a foraged food source? Clams and mussels can be found near lakes and rivers. Although these are more reclusive and rarer to find, being at the right place, and at the right time, might yield you a great shellfish meal for the night.

There`s one last crucial point to make when thinking about foraging: the rules, both spoken and unspoken. These range from foraging safety to the common etiquette and behavior one should have when foraging.

Starting with the safety rules of foraging, if you don`t know what it is, don`t touch, taste, or take it. This is due to the reality that there are poisonous lookalikes in the wild, and while some will simply make someone sick, another could be the reason they die. Therefore, before venturing out into the wild to start your foraging journey, you should learn what foods are edible, the safety and precautions to take when entering the world of foraging, as well as learning the etiquette that should be used throughout your journey.

While out foraging, it`s important to be safe, but it`s just as important to be respectful. Littering and hoarding all that you find is a fireproof way of displaying disrespect. While we have other sources of food, others, such as animals for one, do not. It`s important to remember to only take what is needed, to leave some for other foragers, and the animals that live in the region. It`s important to safely prepare and use the foods that were foraged, and it`s important to share your knowledge with old and new members of the foraging world.

The foraging world is one filled with healthy foods, fresh air, enjoyment, exercise, respect, poisonous lookalikes, rural dangers, and wild dangers. But most importantly, it`s a way of life for some. After all of that, if you think you`ve got what it takes; what are you waiting for? Jump into the wild and prepare yourself for the beginning of a great foraging journey.

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Zackary Brunet is a year 2 Professional Writing student who adores reading and writing. An aspiring novelist, Zack can be found hiding in his room, headphones on with music blaring, his fingers typing away on his computer`s keyboard. If you can`t find him there, look for his gaming set-up, or look for his secret stash of food, and you`ll be sure to find him.

Introduction

Food is a universal concept. We all experience the delicious delights of flavour dancing on the tongue. It can cost a little or a lot. We can spend lots or little time preparing it, consuming it, and building connections with it. It can be used as many things: an apology, a celebration⁠— even a poison. Ever had pineapple on pizza? Sicko. Ever had the right pizza?

The Foragers of Cuisine talk about everything food. Recipes? We got that. Reviews? Got that. Best and worst foods? Got that too. We’ve got it all⁠— take a bite.