When In Doubt, Draw Them Out

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You’ve survived this long, you must be considering yourself an expert by now. You’ve picked the right group of people to surround yourself with and what to do and not to do.  So what’s next?

Doubt.

In every zombie book, movie or TV show it is nearly always someone’s second guessing themselves that gets them killed.  Don’t let this happen to you.

In the heat of the moment, your head will be filled with possible scenarios.  Stick with your gut feeling.  It’s not going to be pretty anyway.  If your gut is telling you to walk away from a scenario, do it.  If it’s telling you that the possible safe haven is full of zombies, do something about it before entering.  Throw something breakable into the room and see what happens.  Cough loudly.  Bang on the door.  Don’t just go into a house or store without making your presence known.

It’s life or death now, whether you like it or not.  It’s eat or be eaten.  If you stumble across a survivor who starts begging you to bring them back to your group, stop for a minute and really think.  If your gut screaming for you to walk away, it’s probably better to listen to it than ignore it.

Granted, this is going against almost everything science has been telling us, that your gut will always tell you to go for the known.  If you’re a compassionate person by nature, your gut will always tell you to help those in need.  But things change when the world comes to an end.  It is really black and white anymore.  Science is more or less dead.  Trust your instincts no matter what, you’ll deal with whatever happens after it happens.

You don’t want to be the idiot that brings back the psychopath to camp, do you?

And for the love of God, when you’re scouting for supplies, grab some nasal strips that prevent snoring.  I don’t care who you are and if you claim you never snore, you’ll thank me in the end when your leg doesn't get bitten off while you’re sleeping.

And now some soothing classical music and mindless carnage to ease you into your day.


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Kelly Houlahan

Is a student at Algonquin College studying Professional Writing. Born and raised in Ottawa, she enjoys speculating about the zombie apocalypse and spends an ample amount of time thinking about her plan of action.  Follow her on FacebookTumblr and Instagram.

Choices, choices

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In light of the latest installment of The Walking Dead I’ve found myself thinking about some of the choices that need to be made during the zombie apocalypse.  Not just the questions about going on food and supply runs or what do when someone gets bitten. Carol’s departure has sparked many thoughts on who I’d surround myself with in this situation and it has also made me doubt my previous assertions about the very same thing.

I personally love(d) Carol.  I think she’s a badass and a survivor.  But I don’t know if I’d like to have her around if some freak strain of the flu hit my group.

Here are some helpful tips in choosing the lucky few that will accompany you on your quest for survival:

- Find a survivalist.  Preferably someone with knowledge of nature and weaponry (Someone who drives a badass motorcycle and carries a crossbow is an added bonus).

- Gordon Ramsay.  I’m being serious.  Not only is he one of the best chefs in the world, he is also one of the angriest people in the world.  Imagine all that rage focussed behind a baseball bat.  Serious advantage.

- Find someone funny.  The zombie apocalypse will be a downer and everyone could use a laugh.  

- Find a stoner.  Not anyone who takes uppers, but someone who smokes a lot of weed.  This may seem like a bad idea, but they’ll offer you a calm and collected perspective when things get tense and when things get crazy they’ll go into Call Of Duty mode and start picking zombies off one by one.

- Go to the ends of the earth to find Sidney Prescott.  She never dies and she’s got a hell of a punch.

- Find an old, wise man.  Make sure they’re not too old, though.  You want someone who is still physically able to fight.  Their years of facing the world will come in handy and once they’re incorporated into your group they will go to the ends of the earth to protect you.

All right, survivors.  It’s time for you to go out and find the people who will save your ass.  Just remember these handy tips and use your brain.  If, at first glance, you feel like it’s a bad idea then it probably is.  Walk away before they latch on.

 


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Kelly Houlahan

Is a student at Algonquin College studying Professional Writing. Born and raised in Ottawa, she enjoys speculating about the zombie apocalypse and spends an ample amount of time thinking about her plan of action.  Follow her on   FacebookTumblr and Instagram.